Are You Overwhelmed or Overdoing it?

Hi there. Thank you so much for checking out my blog today. I know that this past year has a roller coaster that none of us were prepared for. One minute, we were planning our weekend getaways and the next we were discussing zoom parties. Some of us became social media activists while simultaneously becoming banana bread experts and Netflix connoisseur. However, your year I am sure that at some point you got to the point where you were feeling overwhelmed by it all. Maybe you’re feeling this way right now. If so, welcome. Take a seat and let me help you take your mind off things.

Are You Overwhelmed?

In short, the answer most likely is a big, fat yes. You may not be out of the house as much but that doesn’t mean you’re any less busy. As a stay at home mom, I know for a fact that I’ve had to find new creative ways to get my work done while simultaneously keeping two little ones, fed, entertained and clean. The more we stay at home, the more our living spaces get dirty. The more inspired I get to “spruce” up our home decor. Sometimes, I want to try a new recipe. We go through more waste and we order out more in order to help our local restauranteur and for the most due to our lack of desire to cook.

I find myself constantly looking online to see what new inspiration I can draw from in order to create better content, while finding myself either entertaining the latest gossip or keeping up with the last current events. Also, you may find yourself engaging with some really toxic individuals with nothing better to do than to spew hate online. That can take a toll on your mood and your mental health if you’re not careful.

So yes, with everything you personally have going on, just because you’re staying home doesn’t you’re immune from everything else that’s going on out there. So many people have taken breaks from social media as a result just so that they could recharge. I’ve personally pulled back from so many social media commitments because I found myself not being able to keep up with the trends.

Are You Doing Too Much?

In my case, I was doing too much. Last year, I had received so many opportunities and in January the Walmart commercial that my family and I were featured in had just been released, I thought how can I recreate this and go bigger. So I did more. Then I got pregnant and when that first trimester morning sickness hits, watch out!

I found myself unable to keep up with this new standard of work that I had given myself. I was exhausted all the time, which made me a miserable person to be around. I was doing too much. My priorities were all shifted because I wanted to recreate a moment in my life where things felt normal again. I wasn’t having fun anymore and I was tired all the time. I needed to take a step back and figure out what was important to me.

Maybe you need to cut some things off. It could be something as simple as decreasing the amount of time you spend online, or maybe spending less time with that toxic individual and focusing more on yourself and the things that make you happy. Maybe you just need a reset and get back to what makes you feel the most at peace.

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. It lets us know that something is wrong and it needs to change. The good news is we can change it for the most part. We change need to scale back and shift our priorities around.

I hope this helped you put things in perspective. Let me know in the comments how you handle things when you feel overwhelmed?

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing, And That’s Ok

Hi there! I want to start off by saying thank you so very much for joining me here. I know that you could be doing anything and you are here. I appreciate that a lot. Just to let you know that this post may contain affiliates links. If you want to support me as a content creator, by all means purchase through the links provided in the post. You will never pay more, but you may save some money. At the same time, I will get a small commission. It’s a win-win for us both.

Here is my moment of truth, I don’t know what I’m doing. In social media or in real life, I’m just winging it day by day. I have an idea of what I want to do and how I want to spend my days. I know that I have a set number of chores that I want to get done so that my family can live in a home that is free of harm and toxicity. I know that I want to grow and thrive as a mother, wife, content creator, etc. I know that I want to impact everyone around me positively but I don’t have a road map to get me to point B. I believe that’s all part of being an adult.

As I’m writing, I am currently experiencing some light form of anxiety. My chest feels heavy and my heartbeat has increased. I have just put the baby to bed and I am afraid that the baby will wake up before I’ve had a chance to even finish this post. I don’t know if she will sleep through the night. Maybe she’ll wake up every two hours like she did last week.

Right as this thought runs through my head, I worry about the business deal that I’m going to have to present. I worry that I won’t be able to articulate to my investors why they should buy into this vision. Maybe they won’t be able to understand how it benefits them as much as it does me. I won’t let fear stop me but I do worry about being rejected.

I worry that despite all the research that I’ve done to unlearn the toxic traits from my childhood, my weaknesses may prevent me from being the wife my husband deserve and the mother my children need. I’ve been blessed with a beautiful and I’ve read and researched the best way to parent so that my kids won’t feel neglected and/or unloved. I’ve tried to implement the tools given to me but I still fail and come short more often than I would like.

As a content creator I worry that I am not effective. I worry that I’m not engaging and/or relatable. I wonder if I’m able to provide a service to my peers and communicate words of encouragement, wisdom and affirmations that ignite a desire for us all to succeed. I wonder if I’m doing this “influencer” thing right. I have the following but I can’t seem to do it like the others..

At the root of it all, I know I worry because I compare myself to others. I’m afraid of not being as “cool” as the others. I know I don’t have all the answers. I know my shortcomings and no matter how many “likes” I get, I secretly feel as though I will be seen what I lack instead of what I have. Maybe that’s imposter syndrome I don’t know.

The truth is I don’t know what I’m doing. But does anybody really know how to operate life? Isn’t that the point of living? To figure it out along the way and to enjoy every moment. What if there isn’t anything to figure out? What if we’re just here to do the best we can, the way we can?

I don’t know the answers to these questions…and that’s ok.

Enjoy The Process: Process is Practice for Destiny

Chapter 1: Process is Practice for Destiny

Process. I googled the word “Process” and the definition that came up is “a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end”. Everyone of us is involved in a process of some sort. We all have an end that we have envisioned for ourselves. We have grown up with dreams, fueled by passions and now that we are older, we’ve been given the opportunity to go after them. Our lives can be boiled down to just one word, process. 

From the moment we are conceived there is a process of growth that we are subject to. By the time we’ve reached the age of 5 we start going to school and that will last up until we graduate at the age of 17 or 18, for most of us. Then we undergo a different process. All these pathways ultimately are meant to give us a successful end. That end is our destiny. 

What is process?

Process is practice for our destiny. Most often when we are going through the process it comes with unfairness, hardship, separation (not isolation), transition and growth.  These are just tools used by God to teach us something or to guide and/or influence us into creating the right life habits. 

There is good news. The good news is that it’s temporary. None of this is permanent. It may take a long time, depending on how quickly we learn and/or the size of our destiny. However, rest assured you will not die in the process if you keep going through it. Here’s an example. 

In the Bible, one of my favourite person is King David. I love his boldness, his swagger, his love for God and just how real he is. This man was a man with great power, he wasn’t perfect, but he loved God and submitted to God. But despite his many successes, there were many times he had to go through the process. It wasn’t always pretty and I’m sure he didn’t enjoy it, but the end result was always worth it. He was always without a doubt better than the way he started. 

Unfairness, hardship, separation, transition and growth = fun?!

You’re probably wondering, how am I supposed to go through unfairness, hardship, separation, transition and growth and enjoy it? Transition and growth would make sense to me, personally but the first three, I don’t know. It took me over 10 years to break out of that mindset. I couldn’t enjoy the challenge of going through my experiences because I was looking at it all wrong. 

I wanted everything to be simple and easy. I wanted the answers to every question on the test without learning to use the tools I was given to work out the answers to every question on the test. There is no app to answer every inquiry in the world. Google can’t help me figure out why my father chose not to pursue a relationship with me, nor could it help me figure out why I couldn’t just forgive my father for not being in my life. This was an experience I had to go through. 

I was so busy being angry, I couldn’t see the lesson that God was teaching me. He was putting me in a position where I could forgive those who hurt me and love them despite their offense towards me. He taught me to take the power of my emotions out of my father’s hands and place them in His hands. He taught me to love despite the hurt I suffered and ultimately become sensitive and empathetic to the needs of those who may have felt rejected and alone, including my father. 

It was a dark process, and I don’t wish it on anyone but I’m sure glad I went through it. 

Biblical Example:

King David had his fair share of unfairness. I mean as a boy he’s a shepherd. He takes care of sheep and during this time he is faced with a lion and a bear. Alone! I don’t know about you, but these sheep would’ve been food for the lion and the bear if I was their shepherdess. However, David realizes that the sheep are counting on him for their survival, so he rescues them. Alone. At the time David, couldn’t have known that this would’ve been the practice he needed to defeat Goliath, and yet it was. The defeat of Goliath catapulted his fame throughout the land and gave Israel a much-needed victory. 

One would think that would’ve been the moment he’d step into his destiny and experience success. I mean everyone knew who he was by now. He even had his own song. Samuel had already anointed him, so it should’ve been easy sailing from that point on, right? That’s what I would’ve expected, in fact that’s what I always expect. But not really, it just led him into another process. 

Now he’s got to deal with a hater, the current king of Israel, King Saul. This guy takes David in, gives him his daughter has his wife, and then turns around and tries to kill him. David literally had to run for his life. He was forced to be separated from his home and his comfort. He is doing everything right and now he’s on the run?! The answer is yes. During this time, David sharpened his relationship with God writing some of the most beautiful psalms that we are still reciting today. 

Separation allows us to dig deep and let God lead us where he wants us to. David wasn’t just a warrior. During that period of his life, he no longer was a shepherd boy, but he became a worshipper. He became the man that could lead an entire nation back to the altar of God and change the spiritual trajectory of a nation. 

Then there’s the slip up. He finally becomes king and he manages to mess it all up. He and Bathsheba (a married woman, at that!) end up having a one-night stand. She gets pregnant. He creates a situation to have her husband killed and then marries the girl in hopes that it all goes away. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t. He humbles himself, repents and out of him comes Solomon, the future king of Israel. The one who builds the temple of God in Israel. 

The Point:

Process isn’t fun, in fact to even say that you’ll enjoy the process is an oxymoron. It’s not meant to be enjoyable. The beauty in going through the process is that at the end of it you will look back and realize that you were simply practicing for a destiny that is bigger than yourself. There’s so much about you that you don’t know, in fact there is a version of yourself that you haven’t even met. That person is kind, thoughtful, wise and full of life lessons. Fortunately, only those who are willing to go through will meet that version of themselves. 

So, go through the process and practice. Practice makes perfect. When perfection meets intention then lives are changed, not just yours but the world changes. Be perfect for your destiny.

Enjoy The Process: Introduction

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking my blog. I’ve decided to switch it up and introduce a portion of my book. I’ve been meaning to release it but I’ve been too scared. In all honesty, it’s more of an essay than a book. However, recently I lost a friend that I knew for a long time. We weren’t really close as of late but she and I kept in touch. She always said something positive.

Life is short. Our time on earth is borrowed. So I decided to put my fears aside and release this introduction. I hope you like it.

Introduction

Hey you! I want to start off by saying thank you for picking up this book. Whether you have a physical copy or an e-book, your support means the world to me. I am so grateful to you and am super excited about sharing what I’ve learned through my life experiences and from the Bible. 

Now before you get in too deep, I want to make sure that you fully understand what you’re headed into. I am not famous, I am not rich and am in no way shape or form some social media celebrity. I am just a girl with big dreams and after having them for so long decided to pursue them. I am still pursuing those dreams and I haven’t “made” it yet according to my standards. So, understand me when I say, this book will not give you the secrets of overnight success because, frankly, it doesn’t exist. If that were the case, we would all be overnight successes, sitting in our Bentley’s and buying our fifth mansion. 

This book is here to give you perspective on how to view the process and to love the season you are in. Understanding where you are can help you overcome certain situations, avoid repeating the same mistakes and keep you focused when setbacks come. Believe me, they come. I will be as honest as I can be and I promise to keep it real.

Life is full of ups and downs and sometimes there’s so much down that it becomes really easy to give up. The reality is that we can’t give up. We each possess a light inside of us that brings out the best of us. We are each empowered to be world changers. So, if you can read this book and come out with a new outlook in life that propels you forward into the next phase of your life, then I know that you can inspire someone else to do it. In other words, if I can do it you do it too. 

At the end of the day this book will not change your life, only you can do that. Only you can ride out the wave and learn the key lessons that will take you and your dreams to the next level. The good news is, one day things will be different, and you’ll get everything you prayed for. You may face different challenges but at the end of the day you’ll know how to “Enjoy The Process!”

Come back tomorrow for the first chapter.

Why Now Is The Best Time To Invest In Yourself

Hi there! I just want to start by saying thank you for being here today. I am honestly honored to have you read this blog. I know that life isn’t always easy and there are always curveballs being thrown at us. However, this is not the time to give up but the time to “dig deep”. I’m gonna try to keep it short because I honestly believe that this message doesn’t need embellishment.

You may need to rest but you can not give up. Whatever happens you can not give up. But you need to invest. Whether it’s financial investment or by spending time into yourself, now is the time to do and here’s why.

  1. Your gifts will help others reach their potential
  2. Having the ability to live life on your own terms
  3. Leaving a legacy behind that will create generational wealth
  4. Enjoy life abundantly

You deserve to live life happily. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you too and why not? Better yet, why not now?

Postpartum Sexyback

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Hi there. Thank you so much for checking my blog. Your continued support is really appreciated. As I look toward the end of the week I am reminded that my wedding anniversary is coming up. I cannot believe how fast time has gone. .

Let’s Catch Up

shared1We’re going on 5 years of marital bliss and so much has happened since. Let me list the ways:

  • I’ve given birth to two beautiful girls
  • I no longer fit in my wedding dress as a result
  • I found out that I can survive without sleep when necessary
  • I love being at home
  • My body has done for me and my girls than I ever thought it could
  • I have tiger stripes also know as cellulite

Honestly, much more has happened but for the sake of this post I decided to focus on me. In case you missed it, what I listed are the changes in my physical appearance and it wasn’t by accident. 

Physical Confidence

20180902_181353-01796336718.jpegWhen I was younger I was really insecure about how thin I was. It was very common for someone to comment on my weight and my lack of it. I was very self-conscious about my butt, I was told it was too big. I cared about the length of my hair and how I never was able to retain any length. The list goes on. 

Fast forward a few years and I finally see the beauty in my thin frame and every curve of my body. I began to appreciate the woman I saw in the mirror. It also helped when Tyra Banks reposted one of my selfies…good times. But then I got pregnant. 

I knew the weight gain would be temporary and I was expecting a speedy weight loss because I had a plan. I remember the night when I realized that I had nothing in my closet that fit. I wasn’t making a lot of money so it’s not like I could’ve gone on a shopping. I sat down on my bed and I began to cry. My husband came in and consoled me. He reassured me that I was still beautiful in his eyes but at that point it didn’t matter. 

Postpartum 

20170531_165226.gifOnce I had my girls, I was grateful for their health and while I was savouring every part of motherhood, I began to miss my “normal” body or what I grew accustomed to be my “normal” body. I found myself bumping into things. I was becoming clumsy.

My knees were beginning to hurt doing simple squats and lunges. I really hated that. I was feeling aches and pains that I wasn’t accustomed to. I also couldn’t fit into my clothes and my size had gone from 4 to 14 within the span of a year. I found myself shying away from anything that didn’t stretch or hide from my tummy. This began to hurt my confidence. 

How was I going to get my sexy back?

Journey to Sexy

First I had to realize that sexy isn’t based on size but on self confidence. My husband still finds me attractive and so it’s not coming from him. It’s all internal. I needed to shut that voice up and counter it with the truth. Here’s the truth:

  • My body birthed 2 babies
  • my body fed 2 babies
  • my body can move
  • my body continues to surprise me and allows me to overcome any challenge thrown at me

You see my body wasn’t the problem. My mind was. So I decided to start working out. I started buying work out clothes. Cute ones that would brighten my mood. I started participating in challenges that forced me to put on makeup and get dressed. I even started buying clothes that fit and shows off my figure. 

Now here I am loving my body for what it is. I mean why not? My husband doesn’t have that issue. 

Have you felt this way before? 

Why I Chose Jesus

Hey there! Thanks for checking out my blog. I hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing this.

I am a believer and follower of Jesus. I chose Him as my Lord and Saviour over 15 years ago. As you can tell, this post is a testimony of how I became a believer. I hope this encourages you.

This all started when I hit puberty. I didn’t hit the clubs, do drugs or hung out with the “wrong” crowd. I was a church kid born to a fiery and faithful believer, my mother. Unlike her, I hated church.

It’s not like I ever really liked going to church, but by the time I became a teenager I hated going to church. I hated it so much that I even hated Sundays. Yes. The whole day.

You see, I was very angry and resentful. I had questions that I couldn’t ask and the ones I could ask, no one could answer. I was burdened with a responsibility that I never asked for, it was just given to me. Everyday I woke up feeling like the weight of everyone’s happiness was on my shoulders and I failed every single day.

Looking back on it, I know it wasn’t true but back then…

So around the age of 15, I started counting down the days. If I could just get to the age of 18 then I would be legally able to move out and ultimately stop going to church. It’s not like I was praying anyways so…

The anger continued to build. Before, I continue let me give you some insight into my world.

During my early teenage years, my home life became extremely unstable. I had my first panic attack at the age of 13 after witnessing an assault. I wanted to feel safe but instead I was made to feel utterly stupid for not being able to compose myself.

I struggled silently with my insecurities. I was never enough for my environment. Whatever was required of me never seemed to be satisfied.

We never stayed in one place for too long.

I didn’t have a father.

It’s crazy but I never felt like I was taken cared of and yet always required to take care of.

Emotionally I was a wreck. I needed help and help wasn’t coming. I’d cry myself to sleep praying, begging and pleading for a better way of life. I was stuck in a toxic place, alone to fend for myself.

Suddenly, during one of my forced church trips I would begin to cry during the worship portion. It was weird. My mom says it was God calling. Until this day, I cannot confirm this. All I know is that they would sing and I would cry. I hated it. I couldn’t control it and the tears wouldn’t stop coming.

So I cried.

I began to pray asking God to prove His realness. If He was real, things would change. My life would change. And it did….

Eventually, our home life got stable again. Things began to change. We found a church that I liked. I began to fit in. I got answers to my questions, without being treated like a child and it felt good. I felt like a human. I didn’t feel crazy. I had friends, finally.

You see crazy happened to me. I didn’t have a deep spiritual encounter take place. There was no metaphysical transformation. Just a girl who slowly got to the realization that I chose Jesus not because I had to. Simply because He chose me.

I had questions. I wanted better. God showed me that He could make it better and He did.

In A World Where

Hey there! Thanks for checking out my blog.

This year I’ve decided to participate in #nablopomo. This is a challenge where bloggers around the world write a blog post a day for the month of November.

Today, as I was feeling nostalgic, I looked at some of my daughter’s pictures. You see my daughter is a toddler with a lot of energy and a big imagination, which I absolutely admire.

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It’s crazy to me that 2019 that many girls around the world are denied their right as a basic human being, let alone their right to live and dream.

I don’t know what’s in store for my girl.

She may become an athlete. Changing the game and elevating the skill level required to play.

20190921_102328_originalA savvy businesswoman, taking on important phone calls. Maybe changing the global spectrum on an international level.

20190701_135245_originalMaybe a veterinarian. She loves animals…well as long as she doesn’t have to touch them. Ok, so maybe not a vet, but anything is possible, right?20190621_101526_original

She could very well be a musician.

20190901_153722_original Or the first driver to master the art of peace while stuck in Toronto’s worst traffic jam.

That would be awesome!

20190803_195701_originalA pilot on a plane, travelling wherever she wants, whenever she wants.

20190907_105924_original An author, creating stories and sharing knowledge.

Whatever she chooses to do, I know it will be awesome. And I will be there supporting her and cheering her on.

In a world where young girls are often tasked with the responsibility of perfect, I challenge every girl to dream. Every girl should be allowed the opportunity to be the woman God designed them to be.

That’s how they become superheroes!20190823_155523_original