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Shocking Pregnancy Symptoms

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hey there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog post. I’m currently pregnant with my third child and I swear there are some things I thought I would be ok with but find myself still surprised by. Some of them are things that I’ve forgotten about and others just sneak up on me and catch me by surprised. Without further ado let’s get into it.

Hyperpigmentation

When I was pregnant with my first born back in 2017, nobody had ever warned me about my skin getting darker. I had seen these gorgeous women with their baby bump and they looked so flawless. Meanwhile by the time I was nearing the end of my second trimester I looked like I had been bleaching my face. From the neck down my skin had turned at least five shades darker. Believe I wish I was exaggerating. I became very self conscious to the point that I was afraid to even wear my actual foundation. The difference was so noticeable.

Turns out this is very common. This is called melasma or chloasma and it goes away after pregnancy. Usually it starts looking like a blotchy dark patches and goes away after the baby comes out. In my case the patches just joined together until my skin was blanketed with this new skin tone. It was a very confusing time and since my mom had never experienced this, it was confusing for her too. Thank goodness for Google.

Pain, pain and more pain

I was “ok” with the morning sickness because I expected it. It came, I complained and prayed it didn’t last the whole pregnancy and half way through the second trimester it was gone I was good. Then came the back pain. It just always feels like my back is screaming at me for gaining weight. You’d swear we were having an internal civil war.

Then the ligament pain. My pelvic bone and butt muscles don’t see eye to eye right and since Tylenol is the only pain medication I can take, I have resigned and made it my friend. These pain is my body making room for the delivery of my child and it’s a sign that my body is doing it’s job. The hormones that has been released is relaxing my lower regions so that my baby has enough room to come out in. However, this “relaxing” feature isn’t relaxing me. It’s in fact doing the opposite.

Insomnia

You’d think I’d be able to sleep through the night because the baby isn’t here, right? Nope! Absolutely wrong. In fact, it’s common. Between the baby training for the real world Olympics or whatever exercises it’s doing in there, to my bladder no longer having the room to store as much urine as it did before it’s hard to sleep and/or stay asleep. I wish I could say it gets better. Unfortunately, that has not been my experience.

In conclusion

Pregnancy has its highs and lows. Some of them are tolerable some of them just suck. It’s completely fine to enjoy this process because honestly it’s a feat that only you get to experience in your way. Not every journey is the same and some come with unforeseen obstacles. Remember that this to shall pass. Until, enjoy the process as much as you can.

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Hyaluronic Acid…Why I love it

Featured / Sandy Esprit / 1 Comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. I completely and wholeheartedly appreciate you being here. Since, I’m still going strong on my #nablopomo post, I figured now would be a good time to introduce my love of Hyaluronic acid.

Just letting you that know that this blog contains affiliate links that if you choose to purchase from will provide me with a few coins tossed my way. You won’t pay more money, in fact you may save money. This is just another way you can support me.

Ever since I entered the age of the late 20’s, I noticed my skin began to change. It used to always be combination oily come rain or shine, winter or summer but as of late it changes with the weather or I should say the season. I use to be able to get away with one skin care regimen for the whole year and as long as I did not default or neglect my regimen my skin would behave. Until I noticed the dry flaky patches on my skin that would appear during the cold winter months.

Turns out that no matter how much melanin your skin possesses getting older doesn’t discriminate and neither does it’s effects. As we get older hyaluronic acid which is naturally made in our bodies decreases. Once that decreases, wrinkles and fine lines start to set in. But even before all of that, moisture retention also goes on the decline hence the appearance of dry skin.

What is Hyaluronic Acid, you may ask. It is this gooey, clear liquid that our bodies naturally produce mostly in the skin, connective tissues and eyes. It’s job is retain water also known as moisture. Water is very important since it makes up about 60% of the human body. That’s why it’s so vital to our health to stay hydrated.

Hyaluronic acid is a force to be reckoned with in most skin care products because of its hydrophilic properties and it’s ability to retain moisture. By applying on the skin I can provide my skin the ability to keep its moisture which takes care of those dry patches and keeps those fine lines at bay.

So far I’ve been the Hyaluronic Acid Hydrating Serum from the Inkey List. It contains 2% hyaluronic acid. It’s made such a huge difference in my face. You don’t need a lot and the price is so perfect that I don’t have to worry about breaking the bank. I love that I can get it at Sephora because I know that I can get cash back with my purchase by using Ampli. You can too. All you have to do is sign up and when you do use the code AMPLI5. You’ll get $5 automatically just for signing up.

What’s your favourite serum at the moment?

Rating: 1 out of 5.
…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.

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My Pregnancy Body Image

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

When it comes to body image we’ve all had our ups and downs. As a teen, I was a late bloomer. The only thing that developed was my uterus and my height. Aside from that, I was a skinny, awkward, lanky flat chested girl. My hair never grew past my shoulders because back then I didn’t have the resources I have now. My mom waited way too long to get me first bra, mind you I don’t think it would’ve been filled with much. I outgrew clothes as quickly as I got them in my closet. My skin care routine was non existent and so my face was full of acne. My peers on the other hand, were blessed with curves, hair and make up. I was the ugly duckling in my crew.

When I got older and got my first job I was finally able to take some form of control over my appearance but it took years of learning to appreciate what was there. As a young woman, I was often told to cover up my non existent curves lest I be seen as the Jezebel and make the men fall in lust with my body. Those horny depraved minds lusted after anything with legs and it really had nothing to do with what I wore. I was tall, I was pretty without makeup and a friendly attitude to back it until you got on my bad side. Then well…you got the gist.

Unfortunately, due to the people around me and their “overprotective” counsels I developed a very strange idea of what my body looked like. I began to see what they saw and did my best to eliminate any source of sin. As a Christian, I made it my mission to look “modest”. I wore clothes that were way too big for me. It wasn’t uncommon to be told that my skirt was too short or my butt looked too big. For those of you who didn’t know me back then, I was a size 4. Yup a whole single digit, size 4.

Well, I got out of that toxic situation after ten years. But it took me awhile to reset my vision of my physical image and to fully come to love the creation that God made me to be. Once I fully embraced myself, I got pregnant. What should’ve been a beautiful experience became a nightmare from hell.

I literally thought I could love my body no matter its size and it turns out I didn’t. In fact, I’m currently going through my third pregnancy and I’m still fighting this rhetoric. I don’t feel beautiful. I don’t feel sexy and I don’t feel confident showing my body. I feel like that thirteen year old gawky and awkward teenager trying to get through my entire house without crashing into anything. I have no idea how wide I am and my body is so sore all the time. When I try to explain this to people all I hear “You’re not fat, you’re pregnant!” and the truth is I’m both. I am fat and I am pregnant. There’s nothing wrong with being fat, but there’s something wrong with me.

I know I’m not supposed to feel this. I know that my body is a machine that custom built for this and every life that I carry. But I have this belly that I can’t hide. These hips that just protrude out of my side. My butt jingles and I keep seeing pockets of fat deposits on my thighs. I wish it could be as simple as after the baby is born, I could lose the weight but the truth is. Losing weight postpartum is really hard.

When I had my second born, I actually gained weight postpartum. My mom actually commented on my weight and I felt so small. I am trying so hard to love my body for what it is and I can’t even comprehend what is happening or why it’s happening. I am breastfeeding and eating right and yet I can’t lose the weight. It took me 9 months to get this weight and to manage it, and here I am postpartum still feeling like an insecure teenager. I’m supposed to be over this. This body is the same body that carried these children. The same body, my babies cling to when they want to be comforted. This same body provides nurture, care and a haven of safety for my loved ones and yet all I see is the flaws, I have been told to hate.

I don’t know if this is body dysmorphia, but I know I don’t see an accurate picture of myself or maybe I do and that’s why I’m having such a hard time with this. I wish I could say that I love the way I look because the truth is I don’t. I am most comfortable showing my face and my hair because it still looks normal to me. I have a slight double chin but I can hide that with a contour stick. Everything else is just…ugh!

I wish I knew how to fix it. I don’t. I do hope that this sparks a conversation.

To you, who understands how I’m feeling you’re not alone. No matter how we feel, the truth is we are beautiful.

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Vitamin C and SPF, Your Best Sun Defense

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I just want to start off by saying thank you so much for checking out my blog. You could be doing anything, anywhere but here you are with me and this brings me so much joy. Also, I have some affiliate links listed in this blog. If you so happen to want to try these items out and you purchase it from this blog you will be supporting me so that I can keep doing what I love.

With the warm weather around the corner, I know that we are looking to ditch our winter clothes and are ready to enjoy some much needed sunshine. At least, I know I am. I’m looking forward ditching my winter gear and breaking out my summer outfits. Of course, this means more of my skin will be showing and of course exposure to ultraviolet rays from the sun. This is why my skin needs the best sun defense it can get.

Sun protection should always be a part of our skin care, no matter the season. However, in my personal experience I tend to see the most damage in the summer, when the sun is out for longer periods of time and I’m outside for longer periods of time. When I don’t provide my skin with the best sun defense, I risk the chance of creating irreversible damage to my skin. We should always be ready and willing to slather on that SPF in the morning and be ready to put it on again throughout the day. Truth of the matter is that SPF breaks down over time. In the summer it breaks down faster due to sweat, water activities, etc. We do so much outdoor activities that the thin layer of sun protection we offer our skin isn’t enough to last all day, unless we re-apply.

Black don’t crack?

As a Black woman, I was often taught that the amount of melanin present in my skin was enough protection. Unfortunately, that is not true. As much as being Black and being a woman is a privilege and a superpower, it is not enough to protect me from UVA and UVB rays. The damage that these two ultraviolet rays do can often lead to life threatening damage if not sun protection is not enforced quickly. The good news is that it’s never too late to get started.

But how damaging are UVA and UVB?

First off, let me start off by that there are many different types of ultraviolet rays. However, the ones you’ll hear the most about are UVA and UVB. That’s because they are the most damaging to the skin. Keep in mind that the skin is the largest organ in our body. It is one of the primary defense to our survival. When it repeatedly gets hit with UVA and UVB rays, our skin continuously becomes exposed to free radicals that cause oxidative stress to our skin.

UVA rays are known for playing a major role in causing skin cancers. They are able to penetrate the skin much more deeply and play a role in forming wrinkles in our skin prematurely via photoaging. They cause damage to collagen, elastin and other dermal structures. There are about 500 times more UVA rays than UVB rays.

UVB tend to play a role in creating sunburn. They also play a big role in causing skin cancers, including the one that shows up as a black mole on the skin, malignant melanoma.

Vitamin C+ SPF = Power Couple

This is why antioxidants are so important when it comes to sun care protection. SPF is great for offering your skin sun protection, but to really boost it’s efficacy, you may want to add an antioxidant. A topical antioxidant, such as Vitamin C is great for neutralizing free radicals that would otherwise wreak havoc on your skin. Vitamin C is also good for brightening the skin by blocking the abnormal production of pigmentation to even the skin tone and fade dark spots.

Your skin is only as strong as you allow it to be. A good SPF should be able to block the sun’s rays but it’s not 100 percent effective. Pairing it with a good topical Vitamin C serum is a great way to ensure that your skin stays as youthful as you feel.

Not all vitamin C serums are the same. In fact there at least 10 different topical vitamin C serum. Some are water based and some are not. Also based on your skin type and how sensitive your skin is you may find that your skin will become irritated by some serums. This is why it’s important to do your research and to listen to your skin. If you’re skin is irritated or shows sign of tenderness you will want to stop using it and go for a water soluble based vitamin C serum. You may find that you’ll want to use L-ascorbic acid as it is the most ready to use when applied to the skin. However, if you find that this version of vitamin C is too harsh on your skin, then magnesium ascorbyl phosphate may be the better option.

You will want to put your serum on first, let it dry then follow up with your moisturizer and then your SPF. Always apply your SPF last, no matter what your favourite influencer says. It will do wonders on your skin and you can safely enjoy the sun while you are out and about.

Few Things To Remember

When it comes to sun protection, here are a few things you want to remember.

  1. Always wear your SPF, LAST.
  2. Always re-apply your SPF, especially if you are out in the sun.
  3. Your SPF, should last 20 days if applied correctly.
  4. You do not have to settle for an SPF with a white cast. Nobody wants to look casket ready
  5. A vitamin C serum will boost your SPF protection
  6. A vitamin C serum is great for protecting your skin.
  7. Listen to your skin.

I hope that this blog was helpful. Let me know in the comment section below.

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My toddler won’t sleep…

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

It’s currently 4:07 am and my one year old has been fighting sleep since 3:30 pm. Smack dab in the middle my sleep is interrupted by the constant whimpering that slowly progress into full blow cry. As I’m hearing this I’m debating whether or not I should get out of bed. I know she’s ok, she’s never really been much a sleeper.

She’s good with laying down in her crib but the falling asleep stage had always been a struggle. Even now as she lays her head on my chest, she’s moving and squirming, making herself comfortable as my heart heartbeat serves as an internal lullaby and my growing fetus is currently kicking around.

Her eyes are open but her gaze is sleepy. She’s tired. We both know it. So I do what any Christian mother would do. I pray. I pray and I speak over my child. I command the angels to watch over her. I pray hoping for the miracle that my baby needs to sleep through the night. I pray in Jesus’ name and I wait. I hear nothing. I get up and I leave. Once I close the door the whimpering return and I’m left feeling more hopeless than when I went in. This isn’t the first time and yet here we are still faced with this predicament.

Should I pick her up? Should I bring her into my bed? Did she have a nightmare? Is this a night tremor? Maybe she napped too long. Or maybe not enough. Let’s go through Google on this. I’m already awake so I might. Lord knows I need answers. Once again, equipped with my smartphone in my hand, I use my external brain to find an answer that will help. I’m sure there there’s a mommy blog out there with the answers I need.

Sure enough there is. In fact, there’s plenty. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one. Of course, the reasons of why this could be happening isn’t a clear cut diagnosis. Since toddlers lack the ability to accurately express themselves. To be honest, at 34 years of age I find myself at times unable to accurately express myself except through tears. So it makes sense that a child who’s been on this side of life for less than two years would also have this issue. It’s not her fault

The first thing that I notice is the need for patience and lots of it. All of this is normal and like most people, this too shall pass. I personally would hope that it could’ve passed months ago, but no. Once again, patience and grace is required for this challenge. This is not just her challenge, it’s ours. We both are tired and awake. We are both annoyed. We are both sleepy. Both of our sleep has been interrupted for some unknown reason. My otherwise happy toddler is now annoyed by this unforeseen grievance and is calling out for my help to navigate through this trying and at best find the solution to this.

Umm, I don’t know who lied to her but I don’t have the answers. At best I have Jesus and Google. All I can do is pray and assess. But here we are.

After debating the next best step I know what I don’t want to do. I don’t want to bring into my bed. I don’t feel like wrestling a toddler tonight. My body has been through enough and is still going through it. I don’t want to be up all night either. I don’t want to hear crying. So I do what I believe is the next best thing. I pick her and lay her in my chest. A mother’s hug is always welcomed. I let my chest be her pillow and allow her to feel safe by my presence. I don’t know if I’m doing it right. But I know that her breathing has slowed down. Her body. I longer tense nor stressed. She’s sleeping peacefully.

It’s moments like these I’m reminded of what patience, grace and love can accomplish. In the moments that it took for me to write this blog post, my little one has fallen asleep. As I’m get ready to bring her back to her bed, I’m aware that this same kind patience shown to be me I must show to myself. Life is a series of transitions. Some are annoying and some are great. How we handle them makes us great.

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Naturalista’s guide to summer hair care

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

When I first started on my natural hair care journey, I did it to better educate myself on my hair so that I could be equipped to take care of my daughter’s hair. So many mistakes were made on my hair and ultimately left me feeling really self conscious when it comes to my hair and its presentation. Everyday, I see so many beautiful women rocking their crown of glory and I wanted to be able to do that for myself. I figured one day my daughter would want to do that for herself one day, I figured I should be the one to provide her that example. Or at least something to get her started.

Below is a list of tools or rules that I go by to ensure that my hair receives the proper care that it needs to retain it’s curl definition and length. I know that curl, texture, density, etc. plays a role on how we each attend to our tresses’ needs. However, I am a firm believer that one shouldn’t need to spend a whole lot of money or time to achieve your hair goals. When it comes to hair care you can have your cake and eat it too.

Use Salon Quality Hair Colour

There’s this whole notion about natural hair that colour will damage your curls which is false. Colour processing done incorrectly will damage your hair. There’s nothing more or less to it. If you want your hair to be coloured do it. Just make sure that it’s done right and that you follow up with the correct after care. Many salons have even created an at home curated hair colouring system because so many of their clientele could not physically attend their shops anymore.

Does it cost more than your average drugstore box colour? Of course, but it’s an investment at the end of the day. So don’t be afraid to invest in your hair.

Wash Your Hair

Healthy hair starts at the root and the root grows at the scalp. You have to wash your hair to ensure that your scalp is at its healthiest. Yes, this includes a shampoo, conditioner and the occasional deep conditioner. You never want to go more 14 days without washing your hair.

Nowadays there are so many different options to choose from. Here are some of my favourites.

Uncomplicate Your Hairstyle

Last but not least, it is really important to trust the process. Don’t be afraid to try something new. My usual go to hairstyle is a Wash and Go but a Flexi Rod set is also a great way to get to a different curl pattern by physically manipulating the hair strands without chemically altering or compromising your natural hair pattern this summer.

I hope this was helpful. Please let me know what are some of the tools you use to get your hair thriving during the summer?

…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.

Let’s connect. Check out my Link In Bio page to connect with me on my social media platform.

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Fenty Beauty Eaze Drop Blurring Skin Tint Review

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

I think it goes without saying that I absolutely adore this foundation. It’s basically my personalized liquid melanin in a bottle. That may sound like an over exaggeration but that’s how I feel.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CNVXiJGnSVL/?igshid=1rbk2m8taairv

If you want the tea your best bet is to check out my latest YouTube video.

https://youtu.be/UUfBKrL_5KI

Have you tried it? What do you think?

My Toxic Money Relationship

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

I never thought I had a toxic relationship with money. In fact, I thought I was doing very well with my money. I was paying my bills for the most part. I was working and doing everything I thought I was supposed to be doing. I wasn’t splurging. In fact, I always made an excuse as to why I couldn’t afford some of the things I saw my friends, who were making less money than me, afford. I thought I was living humbly and what a fraud that turned out to be.

When I think of my view of money there’s this acceptable amount that I’ve limited myself to. I’ve come to realize that there are certain childhood truths that I’ve come to believe and have been living off of them. Some of them have been told me and now deeply ingrained into my brain. Others, I’ve just translated into my own personal belief.

Old Truths

Some of these truths I believed and some of them I’m working on are:

  1. I lose more money than I make
  2. I’m not allowed to spend money on myself if there’s a cheaper alternative. Even if I like it.
  3. There’s not enough money for me.
  4. Everyone gets theirs first. I get mine last.
  5. I don’t deserve to live in luxury.

When it comes to money, for some it can be a taboo subject. You can either be great with it and love it or be terrible with it and hate it. Most of that comes from our childhood. As a child, I saw my mother struggle to make ends meet. She had three kids to clothe, feed and provide shelter for as well as for herself. I learned very early on that asking for things wasn’t always going to be met with acceptance. That resulted in me not wanting to ask for anything or feeling guilty for asking for anything. I often felt like a burden for liking things that were deemed expensive. It wasn’t long before I began looking at price tags before presenting a request to my mother. Anything I thought was too expensive, I would immediately put away and say I didn’t like it even though I wanted it for myself.

When did it start?

The foundation of my unhealthy perspective of money carried well over until now. Though I am glad to say that some things have changed. Luxury is no longer something I’m afraid to have for myself. Money doesn’t scare me anymore like it used to. I still get some anxiety when shopping for certain items especially when the price tag is higher than what I deem acceptable. The last time I splurged on myself I couldn’t even finish the purchase myself, I literally sent my husband in to make the purchase for me.

New Truths

I’m unlearning these practices in order to make room for the abundance that I’m believing and claiming for myself. In order to do that I must acknowledge these toxic traits. Once they are acknowledged I must be willing to do the work. Part of that work is to speak differently to myself when it comes to money. In fact, I must create new truths to override the ones that I’ve embedded into my financial genetic code. I have got to do some rewriting. But furthermore, I have to believe what I’m saying and be able to accept these truths for what they are.

For example:

  1. I make money in abundance so much so that my net worth will exceed my expenditures.
  2. A price tag does not determine how much I want or like an item.
  3. There’s ALWAYS enough money for me. ALWAYS!
  4. I am not exempt to receiving when it’s my time.
  5. Luxury is my birthright. I deserve to live in luxury.

Saying these statements out loud is the easy part, believing them is the hard part. I know this will take time but I’m confident that these little steps will allow me to live my life to its fullness. I’ve been working on this for a while and so far I’ve been able to successfully pay a student debt. I’ve still got more to do, but there’s no sense of dread anymore. I’m confident that tomorrow will look better than today.

Not bad for a girl who’s been homeless three times, huh?

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Bittersweet Mother’s Day

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

This year is bittersweet. I live in Ontario where we seeming to be in a never ending lockdown. It’s taking a toll on me mentally and in a way that I wasn’t prepared for. I have exasperated all of my self care arsenal and after the bomb has gone off I’m left cleaning up my own mess.

Mother’s Day has been awkward for me. From the moment that I gave birth to my firstborn and now four years later, two kids later and three pregnancies later I find it really hard to celebrate. It’s like a birthday that everyone forgets about until the day off. The worst part is my birthday is often forgotten to begin with. Those who remember Mother’s Day are usually the ones old enough to do for themselves or to remind their father to do something for their mother. My kids are still very young. I should be the one reminding them of what today means to me but to be honest I don’t know what it means to do.

In the past, I’ve tried to celebrate Mother’s Day with my own mom and it wasn’t always received well. I remember when I was told, “If you loved me you would obey me. You would do your chores. That’s love.” That stayed with me. I knew that I could never measure up to that standard because everyday there was something I couldn’t do.

I guess it started from there. Now I’ve got my own and I wish it wasn’t so. I see mothers being celebrated by their husbands and children. Some are going away on trips and receiving lavish gifts. Meanwhile, I’m in the middle of potty training a very strong willed 20 month old and dealing with a four year old with enough sass to punch every nerve in my body. There’s a growing pile of laundry that needs to be addressed before I run out of sweat suits and underwear. There’s a stain in the kitchen floor that been bothering me for days. There’s feeling of missing out as I see mothers enjoying wine while I’ve got an unborn treating my uterus like a gymnasium.

I could say I’m tired but that would be understatement. In all honesty, I don’t know what I am anymore. Is it exhaustion? Is it tired? Is it depression? Is it failure? Is it heaviness? Sadness? Hormones? I don’t know.

If you’re in the same boat as me this post is for you. I see you. We’re carrying the mental and spiritual load of our loved ones so they can keep smiling and they feel loved. We want them to be remembered to feel validated at the cost of our existence. We want to give them an experience contrary to the experience that we are living. We are doing our best in a world that continues to tell us that we are coming up short. The nights are longs. The sleep is restless. We struggle to make sense of what is happening based on our past experiences. We want to show up and to serve our loved ones well. We’re seeking help without being a burden to those who love us and those we love. We want to be seen. We want to be validated. We want to live in every sense of the word without reservations.

This post is for you. You wake up everyday hoping that this is the day everything will fall into place. You hope that your past will be contradictory to your future. You wake up hoping to see your prayers answered without something bad happening alongside the good. You want to enjoy today because it’s precious. You hope today is different from yesterday.

This day is for you. There’s enough room for you this Mother’s Day. There’s enough room to laugh, to cry, to enjoy and to mourn. There’s enough room to seek help, to find peace and have rest. This Mother’s Day is for you too. It’s not exclusive for the Instagram mom who’s got it all together. This Mother’s Day is not exclusive to the rich and wealthy. It’s for the struggling, it’s for the fighters who are serving through the pain and tears. If you haven’t slept in years or maybe you do sleep soundly, this day is for you. If you’ve made some bad choices, this Mother’s Day is for you. If no one in your family remembers to celebrate you, this day is for you too. I celebrate you.

I celebrate me. It won’t look like what I post online. I don’t know if I’ll put on some make up. I’m sure I’ll be chasing my toddler around with the miniature potty trying to avoid as many spills as possible. Of course, unsuccessfully. I’ll be doing the laundry since it can’t be done by itself. I’ll be receiving kisses and hugs as a form of love. I know I’ll get lots of “Happy Mother’s Day!” from strangers and loved ones alike. This day won’t be memorable for me. But I see me. I see my work and I know my worth.

This day is for me too.

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Show up And Serve

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

I woke up this morning and I was absolutely miserable. I mean, literally woke up ready to cry my eyes out. I didn’t get a chance to process my emotions as I was trying to understand how I could wake up from my sleep and still feel like I haven’t slept at all. Those are the worst kinds of sleep. Needless to say I was exhausted physically. As I was contemplating getting out of bed and justifying delaying my morning routine while everyone was still sleeping, I heard my youngest call out to her father. He was just about ready to go to work. Of course, I got up, got her and brought her to my bed. Sometimes, I can get her to lay down with me for a while, while I gather my thoughts together.

It wasn’t long before my husband came into the room and needed me to take care of something that needed my immediate attention. This is not the way I wanted to begin my morning. I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts. It was being taken from me, moment by moment. Piece by piece. With my head on my pillow, I placed my arm over my eyes, avoiding the emotional flood that was about to hit me. I knew it was coming. All the alarm bells were going off and I couldn’t evacuate.

Is there anything I could have done?

As I laid there, all I did was try to find the missing link. I needed to find the culprit. I knew it was me. I knew that I was stressed about things I couldn’t control. But, there’s this innate desire in me to fix all that is broken. My online presence was suffering and all I could do was see my shortcomings. Could I have done anything differently? I wasn’t making any money. All these prospects were drying up. I was becoming as irrelevant as I had believed myself to be. Maybe I had been over confident, I overshot my shot. I should have just done what always works, that is being afraid and running away.

Truth is, I don’t want to go back to the way things were. There’s nothing wrong with being working a 9-5 but it’s not for me. I can’t do it. I can’t work for someone else making enough money to pay half of bills. I can’t go back to spending my energy being someone other than me for majority of the time. I am not that person. I don’t want to be successfully broke. I don’t want to update my resume in hopes that some government worker is going to take pity on the fact that I’m a minority who is also bilingual. Mind you that hasn’t worked either.

What to do?

Someone commented on a post I made and what they said resonated with me.

“We don’t give up. We keep showing up and eventually things will get better.”

You know what? She’s right. I don’t know what will happen in a month or two. All I have is the last four months to go on. I know something’s got to change and it will. I know it won’t happen overnight and I still have a lot of learning. There are still some major life transitioning phases that I will have to navigate. I can only my best with what I have. My only hope is that it’s enough.

We need to be inspired effectually and effectively. You and I both know that this world is far from perfect. For years, we’ve been told what is and is not acceptable by people who have the funds to sell their message. We’ve bought their message and believe their story to only find out that it was a lie all along. This is not the kind of message I want my daughters to believe.

I started this to prove to myself that I have what it takes to be the woman that my children can be proud to call their mother. But most importantly, I need to prove to myself that I am not wasted potential. I am not just an influencer or that girl who used to be smart. I am not just a housewife that is dependent on her husband for a paycheck. I am not a poser on the ‘gram trying to get like and comments. I am more than that.

I am a living and breathing testimony that anything can happen if you’re willing to have faith and put in the work. I have seen domestic abuse first hand. I know what it’s like to be homeless. I know what it’s like to be an undocumented immigrant. I know what it’s like to feel rejected, to be told that your feelings are invalid. I know to be knocked off a pedestal that was build for you by those who “believed” in you just to be knocked down and have your head hit the ground. The reason is I keep coming back is because I have a job to do.

I have to serve my community, near and far. I may not be remembered for my work but as long as my words inspire you to get up and keep fighting for your destiny then I have done my job. If you are able to relate to this and still choose to get up and keep going then I’m doing my job.

You are living breathing miracle. You have survived all the trauma and criticism you’ve faced. Your energy transcends your presence and continuously affect those you have encountered. Your smile is infectious and cause others to feel at peace. That is a blessing. Better yet, you are a blessing. You may not realize it but your time is coming. Whatever happens, show up and serve.

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Protect Your Melanin

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I just want to start off by saying thank you so much for checking out my blog. You could be doing anything, anywhere but here you are with me and this brings me so much joy. Also, I have some affiliate links listed in this blog. If you so happen to want to try these items out and you purchase it from this blog you will be supporting me so that I can keep doing what I love.

Spring is here, which means summer is right around the corner. The sun is out and shining bright and after a long and cold winter, I know I’m ready to step out and enjoy that sunshine while ensuring that my body gets to produce vitamin D naturally. However, being outside doesn’t come cheap. I do what I have to do to protect my melanin.

What is Melanin?

Melanin is the pigment on your skin, hair and eyes. Melanin is made by melanocytes. In this blog, I’ll be talking about the melanin in your skin. Most of us see melanin simply as the colour of our skin, our complexion. Some produce more melanin than others which is why their skin colour will look darker than others.

Unfortunately, the production of melanin has been used often to justify unjust and unfair practices. For a long time it was believed that skin with lots of melanin production didn’t need sun protection. But clearly that is not true. It’s true that less cases of skin cancer are found on folks with more melanin it doesn’t make us invincible to UVA & UVB rays.

Perfect Protection

When we talk about skin protection the number one thing that will always come up is SPF. SPF has not always been so mainstream due to its lack of workability. It would often leave a white cast. It was hard to rub into the skin and if your had acne prone skin, then sunscreen would add to those breakouts.

Back in the day, finding a sunscreen that would actually do its job without compromising the way you looked was not happening. I have first hand experience.

However, now there are options commercially available. They also range in price from drug store to high end luxury price points. You can have a lotion or spray. There’s also options between physical and chemical. It’s all based on your skin needs and wants.

Is SPF The Only Way?

Short answer, no.

When we’re talking about skin protection there are many other factors to consider. The sun’s rays is one of them, but it’s not the only thing we need to protect it. Since our skin is the first line of defence against all potential toxin, then we must do our part to keep it in optimal working order.

One way of protecting our skin is to set up a good morning and nighttime routine. It doesn’t need to be extensive or complicated but it does need to get the job. Removing dirt, grimes, pollutants off of our skin consistently prevents the spread of bacteria into our bodies. So yes, being a good hygiene is important. It is also essential to provide our skin the necklace moisturizing and conditioning agents to maintain and/or repair the skin barrier.

If you’re on TikTok, I’m sure you’ve been tempted to shop for Chlorophyll. In all honesty, before TikTok, the only thing I knew was that it was useful for plants for them to undergo photosynthesis. For those of you who don’t remember high school biology, it’s the process for plants to get their energy.

Turns out eating your green leafy vegetables and drinking water will do wonders for your skin as well. At the end of the day no matter how impeccable your skin care routine is, nothing will replace what you eat and drink.

Skin Care Regimen

In order to secure the integrity of skin barrier, a good skin care regimen is essential. An effective morning and nighttime can do wonders for your skin. Overall, a good skin care routine will improve the appearance of your skin as well as minimize effects of damage that our skin is usually susceptible to.

Here are some of my favourite routine.

Vichy Skin Care Routine

Nighttime Routine

I hope you liked this post and that it was helpful. If so, leave a comment and check out another blog post.

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As A Mother…

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

In light of recent events, I’ve decided to not post my original blog and write this one instead. This may come off as a rant or maybe it will sound too naive but I feel the need to get this off of my chest. I hope this resonates with you and if it does, please comment below.

Here in Canada, it seems like we have it together. You won’t see much in the news regarding racism. In fact, if anything the racist stuff usually comes from the United States. Often, by the time we see it there is this underlying understanding that no matter how bad racism is here it’s not as bad as it is in the USA. Unfortunately, this false narrative has allowed for many ethnic groups to be denied the ability to speak on issues that not only affect our livelihood but our lives.

I am a mother to two girls and am currently pregnant with another. Pregnancy is not a joke. What’s worse is being dismissed by health care professionals when you bring up a symptoms or concerns. I don’t have all the answers so when I put my trust in the hands of the labour and delivery team, I expect them to followed through with professionalism and due diligence. I don’t expect to be gaslit, dismissed or forgotten. Having a child should be a joyous occasion not a reason for fear.

It’s bad enough that as a Black woman there’s always this thought in the back of my head that all it takes is for my family to be at the wrong place at the wrong for my world to fall apart. My husband goes to work each day and I know that God forbid, he meets someone who’s having “a bad day” not only could his life be endanger but more than likely, as Black people we may never see justice prevail.

It’s hard to be hopeful in a world where injustice seems to be the outcome in every situation where white supremacy has a chance to rule. Lady justice is supposed to be unbiased and colourblind in a world where all men are created equal. Yet, nothing has changed to restore faith in those we’ve elected as officials to render true and effective justice. Something as simple as holding murderers accountable once proven guilty is as laughable as a comedic skit. It’s gut wrenching watching another murdered Black man calling his mother just so she could hear his final breath.

How do I explain to my children that we are living in a world that will never see them as equals no matter how nice, how tough, how qualified, how assertive, how feminine or gracious they are? How do I tell them that this is what we as their parents settled for on their behalf? How do I tell my children that the melanin in their skin is a perpetual target on their backs? How do I tell my daughters that they will be sexualized and demonized because they are Black women? That they must maintain their “niceness” and “kindness” when the micro agressions come if they want to keep their jobs? If I give birth to a son, what then? The fact that he’s Black automatically makes him looks like any other “alleged suspect” if law say so.

Yet, through my faith I have learned to be hopeful when it’s darkest. I won’t lie it sure feels dark. We’re in the middle of pandemic. Ontario is in the midst of its third lockdown. I don’t know what my delivery plan will look like when I give birth. I’m afraid. I’m afraid for my kids and my unborn child. I know that my kids will be safe but I won’t be with them. This will be the first time since I’ve had them that they won’t be with either my husband and myself, and I’m scared.

These are the moments that nobody warned me about. Nobody told me how scary motherhood could be. Nobody told me how terrifying being a Black mother could be. I’m afraid for their present and their future. I know how the system works and that’s why I get up every day and work my butt off.

I want them to know the privilege of living. I want to know that they are safe. I want them to believe that they can be anything they want to be. There’s no limit, no matter how hard the media tries to sell this fear, they need to know that it’s not true.

I don’t do it for myself. I do it for them.

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Are You Overwhelmed or Overdoing it?

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there. Thank you so much for checking out my blog today. I know that this past year has a roller coaster that none of us were prepared for. One minute, we were planning our weekend getaways and the next we were discussing zoom parties. Some of us became social media activists while simultaneously becoming banana bread experts and Netflix connoisseur. However, your year I am sure that at some point you got to the point where you were feeling overwhelmed by it all. Maybe you’re feeling this way right now. If so, welcome. Take a seat and let me help you take your mind off things.

Are You Overwhelmed?

In short, the answer most likely is a big, fat yes. You may not be out of the house as much but that doesn’t mean you’re any less busy. As a stay at home mom, I know for a fact that I’ve had to find new creative ways to get my work done while simultaneously keeping two little ones, fed, entertained and clean. The more we stay at home, the more our living spaces get dirty. The more inspired I get to “spruce” up our home decor. Sometimes, I want to try a new recipe. We go through more waste and we order out more in order to help our local restauranteur and for the most due to our lack of desire to cook.

I find myself constantly looking online to see what new inspiration I can draw from in order to create better content, while finding myself either entertaining the latest gossip or keeping up with the last current events. Also, you may find yourself engaging with some really toxic individuals with nothing better to do than to spew hate online. That can take a toll on your mood and your mental health if you’re not careful.

So yes, with everything you personally have going on, just because you’re staying home doesn’t you’re immune from everything else that’s going on out there. So many people have taken breaks from social media as a result just so that they could recharge. I’ve personally pulled back from so many social media commitments because I found myself not being able to keep up with the trends.

Are You Doing Too Much?

In my case, I was doing too much. Last year, I had received so many opportunities and in January the Walmart commercial that my family and I were featured in had just been released, I thought how can I recreate this and go bigger. So I did more. Then I got pregnant and when that first trimester morning sickness hits, watch out!

I found myself unable to keep up with this new standard of work that I had given myself. I was exhausted all the time, which made me a miserable person to be around. I was doing too much. My priorities were all shifted because I wanted to recreate a moment in my life where things felt normal again. I wasn’t having fun anymore and I was tired all the time. I needed to take a step back and figure out what was important to me.

Maybe you need to cut some things off. It could be something as simple as decreasing the amount of time you spend online, or maybe spending less time with that toxic individual and focusing more on yourself and the things that make you happy. Maybe you just need a reset and get back to what makes you feel the most at peace.

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. It lets us know that something is wrong and it needs to change. The good news is we can change it for the most part. We change need to scale back and shift our priorities around.

I hope this helped you put things in perspective. Let me know in the comments how you handle things when you feel overwhelmed?

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Spring Clean Your Circle

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there. Thank you so much for checking out my blog. Today, I will be doing things a little differently.

I believe that part of living my life has always included my faith in God. As a Christian woman who grew up in a Christian home, I have always been told to forgive and forget. I saw many loved ones get hurt over and over again following this advice. Some of them have been abused and traumatized and had it not been for the grace of God, I believe that I would be continuing the cycle of abuse. I am not a professional and I do believe in therapy. I believe that there are some things that prayer alone can’t fix. Especially when dealing when traumas that continuously interfere with your ability to enjoy YOUR life. I capitalized your because sometimes it’s easy for us to become so influenced by other people’s counsel (even though they mean well) that we lose our identity in other people’s validation. I urge you to seek professional counselling if you’re ready to change but find yourself unable to.

The other day, I was sitting in the living room by myself, (time alone is a gift from God, Himself!) watching the Baby-Sitters’ Club television series on Netflix. I used to read the books as a child and so watching this show brought back all the nostalgic feelings of my childhood. As I watching, I noticed that one of the characters, Kristy, was so annoying. When I was younger, I felt connected to her the most. We were exactly alike with similar familial circumstances. I could relate to her. But looking at her now, as an adult I realized something. She wasn’t assertive, she was mean. She needed to be in control all the time, regardless of who she hurt. She meant well, but her desire to control everything just left a bad taste in my mouth. It wasn’t until her character started freaking out about her absentee father that all the pieces fell together.

I was Kristy. I wasn’t a nice person and had a desire to control everything so I could control the outcome. That way I could avoid being hurt. I carried that way of living well into my adult years. I had developed a coping mechanism to avoid being hurt over and over again.

Once I got married to my husband and had my daughter, something clicked. Call it an epiphany, call it a revelation but something happened. I needed to change because I was not the same girl anymore. I didn’t want to be the same girl anymore. I was a mother who had to teach my daughter how to live a beautiful and fruitful life. But how do I that? I didn’t want her being like me. I wanted to be assertive, decisive and kind so she could take over the world without being selfish or mean. That’s when I had a conversation with myself, which is quite easy to do when you don’t have many friends to begin with. This mostly took place in the spring. That’s when I began spring cleaning my circle.

I started by loving me. I began to identify all the ways that I could love myself and affirm who I was as a human being. It’s important for my children to be loved by a parent who is full of love. I don’t need the validation of others to be amazing at being me. I need my daughters to feel the same way. I’m not perfect but I love myself the way I am.

Then I started showing up as the woman that I wanted my daughters to look up to. Like I said, I know I’m not perfect but that doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of improvement. Accidents happen and that’s ok.

I would say the key to my revolutionary spring cleaning was learning to set boundaries. There are comments that I hear from loved ones that I just let slide because, in all honesty, I don’t feel like censoring the elderly all the time. However, there are comments that I will censor. I will not tolerate comments that disrespect me or my family. I have the right to refuse and to remove negative and toxic speech from being spoken in my presence and the presence of my children. Words are very powerful and have a way to carry over well after the moment has passed. For years, I carried words spoken to me in my heart. These words were hurtful and manifested themselves into my life in a negative way. I will not be the access for this kind of behaviour for my girls. My hope is that they are led by example and they too, will set boundaries and develop a strong voice to advocate for themselves when I can’t.

Another part to setting boundaries, for me, was cutting off toxic family members. Some family members just happen to drift off and lose contact and that happens. Life happens and we all have our own families to care for. However, those that have continuously caused hurt to me personally without a change in behaviour, I no longer entertain. It is important to me that I stay healed. Forgiveness is hard enough the first time, but after a while it becomes debilitatingly oppressive. After living like that for years, I believe that the next course of action is to be free and to stay free. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s really hard. A lot of people don’t understand why I have chosen to go this route. But for the first time in my life, I’m advocating for myself. My voice is being heard. I don’t have to resort to controlling everything and, honestly, it feels good.

Whoever you are, if you find yourself just stuck and constantly feeling hurt, believe me it will get better. You have a voice and it matters. Speak up and get help. You may find yourself alone but it’s better to be alone and free.

Continue reading →
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No Frizz Wash n GO

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hey there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. I’m so happy you’re here. I hope this blog post is informative and has the answers you are looking for to achieve the wash and go hairstyle of your dreams.

Disclaimer: The following blog post will contain some items that were gifted to me. There may be some affiliate links for the products mentioned. Please feel free to click on those links. If you purchase from these links you will not spend more but you may save some money, all the while supporting this site. It’s a win-win if you ask me.

Back to the topic at hand.

So you want a frizz free wash n go? I don’t blame you. What curly, coily, kinky haired natural doesn’t want to show off the beautiful crown that grows out of your scalp? I definitely do. But with the warmer weather coming, the main thing I find hardest to battle is frizz.

Truth is our hair is frizzy. Not all curls are created equal and it doesn’t matter if they are growing out of the same head. My curls vary depending on where the curls are placed. In the middle of my head, the curls are tightest and do not set well with the front of my hair where the curls are looser. This lack of homogeneity can create frizz. But just because frizz is there doesn’t mean we can’t control it, somewhat. It doesn’t mean it will disappear. It just means we can minimize frizz in our wash and go.

When it comes to curly hair, no matter how tight the curl is a good wash and go hairstyle is best achieved on clean and moisturized hair. That is the foundation of any hairstyle. Product build up can smell bad, create graininess with new product application (which never looks good), weigh down the hair and create an unnecessary barrier that keeps the product from doing it’s job. The hair has got to be clean. In case you haven’t heard it, you gotta wash your hair. Using a good gentle moisturizing shampoo can provide the cleanliness your hair and scalp without overstripping your hair of it’s natural oils and helps restore your hair’s natural moisture and still allowing you a clean scalp. A moisturizing conditioner with a good amount of slip is great for detangling while washing. I love to section my hair via finger detangle and then go back with my favourite detangling brush. It makes a whole difference post wash.

After your hair is washed and conditioned, the products themselves are not the only thing you need to be wary of but the application as well. You can have great products but if they’re applied improperly you will be feeling extremely disappointed. I always suggest using the products per the instructions on the product. With that said, you should probably rinse out that conditioner as stated on the package and use an actual leave in conditioner or a conditioning styling product.

With a good foundation, and with the right products for your hair, all you really need is a proper setting technique. I personally love to section my hair and make each section smaller so that I can get the products in my hair. I start with a small amount and work up the quantity based on how my hair is reacting. When I want my hair to set with defined curls and very minimal frizz, I use a gel like the Earthtones Natural Curl Enhancing Gelly Max. If I want to ease up on the “freeze” curl look and want that bit of frizz then I use the Shea Moisture Papaya & Neroli All Day Frizz Control milk-gel or the TGIN Honey Hydrating hair mousse. I make sure to get my hair to set the way it naturally does when it’s wet so that when it dries, the curls dry together. You can use a diffuser to preserve and retain length when it’s wet, or let it air dry.

Below are two of my YouTube videos that shows my wash and go hairstyles.

I hope this help clears things up. Let me know what you think?

…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.
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Pandemic Parenting…a year later

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

What does parenting during a pandemic look like? To be honest it’s different for every single parent. Some have found their strides and are managing it quite well. For the rest of us that is not the case. I speak from a personal point of view, so it’s assume that I don’t speak for the majority of moms.

This time last year, I was on maternity leave for my second born. So my paycheck was guaranteed for the next few months. Mind you it wasn’t much but it gave me enough time to build my social media brand and to really come to terms with what I wanted to do. Did I want to be a full time stay at home mom? Did I really want to be a social media content creator? Could I thrive at both? But most importantly would I be good at it?

My husband I knew that if we both worked full time, the money we made would go towards everything except the life we wanted for our family, so staying home wasn’t that much of an issue. What worried me was whether or not I’d become a burden to my husband. Most mothers give up their careers to care for their children, not because we’re not independent, intelligent individuals but ultimately because it’s what’s best for our families. I knew that if we could do this together our family would thrive but most importantly our children would have the advantage of having one of us available without either of us worrying about out babies.

My husband was able to retain his job during the pandemic and all the uncertainties it brought with it. He worked and I stayed home. At first it wasn’t so bad. I had a schedule for me and the girls. Of course I was exhausted. All the places that we’d normally bring our girls to exert their energies were closed except for the park. So we got creative. We go on car rides and do car activities. My husband is very good at finding outdoor activities, like going to the zoo, outdoor picnics and going to the beach all while maintaining a safe distance.

Home life wasn’t so bad at first either. I started teaching my three year old to read and write as a way to prepare us for a possible homeschool life. We started baking banana bread like every family. We made a digital tv cooking show and even shot a Wal-Mart commercial. Things were going to be ok, after this wasn’t going to last long and soon life would be back to normal. Or so I thought…

It seems like month after month, the news got grimmer and grimmer. More and more my social media feed was filled with conspiracy theories, hate crimes and just another death inspired by racism. I was triggered by how normal it became to see another name becoming a hashtag. Trauma became part of the new normal and I hated it. I had seen enough trauma growing up and I don’t know why it seemed to be a continuous sight for me to see. But worse, is now I’m a mother and how am I supposed to raise well adjust Black girls in a world that is constantly telling they are not for us and our well-being?

A year later, I’m at home writing this post. I am four pregnant. I hate the cold so naturally I hibernate within my house like I do every winter. I still am teaching my girl to read, write and do arithmetic. She continues to impress me. I wish I could take them to an indoor trampoline park so my second born to jump around with her sister. I wish we could go to the McDonald’s Playplace where my girls would make a temporary friend while my husband and I would enjoy our cheap dates but alas now our time together looks different.

It usually takes place after the babies have gone to bed. We order something off of UberEats and catch up on the adult television shows on Netflix. During the day, I try to keep the schedule the same, keeping in mind that I need to schedule some time for myself, which I’ve been neglecting more and more lately. Some days I get my list done and I feel confident, other days I just want to crawl in bed and be taken cared of.

It’s not always pretty but we’re getting by one day at a time. Hanging on to the knowledge that this too shall pass.

Double Cleanse Routine

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Happy New Year! I want to start off by saying thank you so very much for joining me here. I know that you could be doing anything and you are here. I appreciate that a lot. Just to let you know that this post may contain affiliates links. If you want to support me as a content creator, by all means purchase through the links provided in the post. You will never pay more, but you may save some money. At the same time, I will get a small commission. It’s a win-win for us both.

I’ve been loving the Clinique Take The Day Off cleansing balm. Check out how I use it as part of my double cleansing routines

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Eczema skin relief toddler edition

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I want to start off by saying thank you so very much for joining me here. I know that you could be doing anything and you are here. I appreciate that a lot. Just to let you know that this post may contain affiliates links. If you want to support me as a content creator, by all means purchase through the links provided in the post. You will never pay more, but you may save some money. At the same time, I will get a small commission. It’s a win-win for us both.

When my eldest daughter turned 1 year old, I started to notice a rash developing in the back of her knees going upwards toward in backside. So I did what any mother would do and turned to Google. Of course, after many blood pressure raising self diagnosis, I knew the right thing to do was to see what the doctor had to say. She reassured me that it was eczema and it was common and nothing to worry to about. Which is easier said then done when you’re watching your baby scratch herself to the point of bleeding.

Sometimes a headband is all you need. If your little is really against getting her hair done, a nice accent will do the trick. Here Mercy is wearing a white stretchy netted wide headband with a white blooming flower to the side.

Her symptoms were pretty standard. Her skin gets dry every winter and I mean really dry to the point that her skin gets really rough. She starts scratching like crazy and the rash appears. We got a prescribed ointment for the rash but unfortunately it doesn’t take away from the dry skin and itch.

After many attempts at find a treatment that works, I finally turned to Instagram to get some help from the mom community and they did not fail me. Some of the ideas shared with me I had already tried, some I did not and the ones that worked for my girl I still do now.

My main concern was getting her skin to behave like her skin should. For those of you who don’t know eczema is also know as atopic dermatitis. It is a condition that makes your skin red and itchy. It is thought to be due to a “leaky” skin barrier, where the skin is not holding in the moisture as it should causing it to be dry in the process. It’s also thought to be a immune system response to an allergy. Of course, you should seek a medical professional for a proper diagnosis.

The most common response I received was the Aveeno Eczema Care Itch Relief Balm. I purchased the Aveeno cream from Amazon because it was the most convenient way to get it. I’d rather have it shipped to my house than to dress the whole family to go outside in the dead of winter. The balm is quite thick but applies nicely. It doesn’t linger on the body as much either. I find that it’s best for us to use it at night right she’s had her bath. It’s fragrance free, so that’s a bonus.

I also received SKN Moisture Retention Healing Face + Body Bar which I use on her body nightly during bathtime. This company is Black owned which is why I’m so hype about them. They are based in the United States but they do ship to Canada. I was overcome with their generosity and couldn’t wait to try their bar. The bar foams really easily and smells amazing. It’s the perfect way to calm my daughter. According to the site “This bar helps to treat eczema, psoriasis, dermatitis, and dry skin. It is infused with 5% Colloidal Oatmeal which is also an all-natural skin-soothing solution for bug bites, sunburns, poison ivy, and other itch and inflamed skin conditions. This bar is also infused with Eucalyptus oil that is great for wounds and skin infections; thanks to its anti-inflammatory effects” and I cosign this. I highly recommend anyone needing an alternative to commercial based soaps to check them out.

The results were night and day. Her skin felt like skin again and you would never know she had been scratching herself if it wasn’t for the scars. I was so impressed by both products. Her skin was once again soft. She doesn’t scratch anymore and my girl is no longer bothered by itchy skin. I’m a happy mom!

Have you dealt with eczema? What have you used?

…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.
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HI My Name is Sandy

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Happy New Year! I want to start off by saying thank you so very much for joining me here. I know that you could be doing anything and you are here. I appreciate that a lot. Just to let you know that this post may contain affiliates links. If you want to support me as a content creator, by all means purchase through the links provided in the post. You will never pay more, but you may save some money. At the same time, I will get a small commission. It’s a win-win for us both.

Lately, there’s been a few faces coming to my blog and I am so happy you are here. It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance. Whether you’re here for my life hacks, my skin care, hair care and/or thoughts on life I’m grateful that you’ve made the decision to keep visiting my blog.

A bit about me…

My name is Sandy Esprit. I am a stay at home mom and full time social media content creator. I have mothered two girls and am married. I love what I do and am very grateful that I get to live this life. Of course I’m giving you the short form version of my life because well I always wanted to hide my past. However I want my life to inspire others and that can’t happen unless I open up that Pandora’s Box.

Into My Past We Go…

I grew up in a single parent home, where my mother was the sole bread winner. I understood the value of hard work and the value of a dollar. Growing up we didn’t have a lot growing up, but we always had food to eat and a roof over our head. It wasn’t always easy. In fact, my mother worked hard every day but at times it seemed like that hard meant nothing.

We never stayed in one place too long. I went through 13 different schools because we kept moving so much. I don’t have any childhood friends other than my little sister. Honestly, she’s my best friend by default. We were each other’s rock. I feared relationships growing up. I didn’t trust people. It was hard to open up and when I did I overshared.

I’ve been homeless at least three times. I’ve lived in a country illegally for a few years. I know what it’s like to suffer in silence. I had my first panic attack at the age of 13 and had to navigate it alone. There were times when I felt like I was put in situations where I was used as a means to bridge familial disputes. As a child, that’s not a situation that made me feel loved or appreciated.

But we got through it by God’s grace.

Here we are…

Eventually, my life levelled out. I went to school and graduated. I attended the University of Ottawa where I majored in Biochemistry and took a minor in music. I wanted to study music but I wasn’t allowed so I went with my second love, science. It took me six years but I did it.

I always wanted to help people and make them feel valued, like they could do anything. I hated that feeling of insecurity and instability. That became even more prevalent when I was pregnant with my first born. I loathed it and wanted to protect my daughter from ever feeling this way, which is why I started blogging.

I didn’t see anyone who looked like me articulating my likes just as much as my insecurities. Everyone looked so put together and well curated. Meanwhile I was hot mess. So, I became vulnerable and posted about my fears. It wasn’t always well received but I felt better owning my story.

People were relating to me. I was inspiring people get through their day-to-day and I wanted my daughter to see me as a woman instead of just mommy. Because one day they’ll be my age and they may face the same struggles I face today as a woman. They need to know that they’re not alone. Most importantly, they’ll be ok.

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Post Holiday Struggle

Featured / Sandy Esprit / 1 Comment

Hi there! Happy New Year! I want to start off by saying thank you so very much for joining me here. I know that you could be doing anything and you are here. I appreciate that a lot. Just to let you know that this post may contain affiliates links. If you want to support me as a content creator, by all means purchase through the links provided in the post. You will never pay more, but you may save some money. At the same time, I will get a small commission. It’s a win-win for us both.

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. After completing the #nablopomo challenge I tried to enter the #vlogmas challenge over on my youtube channel and I was completely burnt out. Turns out it’s easier for me to blog then it is for me to vlog. Or maybe I just wasn’t prepared. I knew however that I wanted to jump on here and get back to some sense of normalcy in my safe space. But it hasn’t been easy.

In fact, this holiday was just really tiring for me. There was so much I was trying to accomplish by the end of the year all the while still wanting to be present. At one point I just had to shut everything down. I knew the end result would be catastrophic. Now I’m just struggling to get into the momentum of work, despite being in yet another lockdown. It can be really frustrating trying to salvation a bit of excitement for the upcoming year when all I see isn’t too uplifting. I figured now would be the best time to start implementing the lessons I’ve learned in 2020.

  1. Never stop investing in yourself; Honestly the best money spent has been on myself and I’m not talking about splurging on the latest trending items, I mean really making an investment in yourself. There’s something about putting your faith (or money) on your dreams and your passions. You almost never lose out on that investment. There’s always a reward in the end.
  2. Kindness is KING! Being kind is free and really easy to put into practice. It doesn’t mean that you let people walk all over you it just means that you are intentionally and proactively seeking to change the world positively. Your presence is influential in the way this society will end up for our future. Let’s do our part and be kind. Also kindness will get you into places that talent and work ethic never could.
  3. Boundaries are meant to be enforced- This year really taught me to enforce boundaries with people. Growing up I was often placed in a position where I was easily overlooked, gaslit and ignored. As a mother, to two young girls you better believe that this is not something I intend to pass on to my girls. Not everyone I know is meant to travel with me. Not everyone I have met is going to be helpful on my journey, and if they cause me more harm than good, then it’s time for us part ways. It doesn’t need to be hostile but it does need to be enforced
  4. I don’t know everything- I’m no expert. No matter how big I get I will always need to learn something new. Every step I take will require me to level up in my learning. One of the best apps I have been leaning on is Clubhouse to just learn.
  5. Be Yourself- This is cliche but it needs to be said. Your greatest superpower is the ability to be YOU. Not one person can do what you do and tell your story the way you do. Use that to your advantage.

I really hope this year brings you everything you desire. I think this year will be the reset that we need this year!

What have you learned in 2020 that you will be implementing this year?

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@Liketoknow.it Holiday Gift Idea

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I just want to start off by saying thank you so much for checking out my blog. You could be doing anything, anywhere but here you are with me and this brings me so much joy. Just to let you know that this blog contains products that I’ve received from Influenster for free for testing purposes. Also, I have some affiliate links listed in this blog. If you so happen to want to try these items out and you purchase it from this blog you will be supporting me so that I can keep doing what I love. As always, all opinions expressed are strictly my own and I promise to spill all the absolute truth in this post.

Books for the princess in your house!

I absolutely love these books and so does my girls. I love them so much I’ve written a review about it. You can check it out here. I love how diverse they are and empowering. I believe these books are amazing.

http://liketk.it/322iX #liketkit @liketoknow.it get your holidays looks on a budget. These items are quality and budget friendly. If you use AMPLI, you can get cash back. It’s a win-win. #LTKgiftspo #LTKunder50 #LTKbeauty You can instantly shop my looks by following me on the LIKEtoKNOW.it shopping app

For the make up lover in your life you cannot go wrong with these items. They are affordable and super easy to use. These items were gifted to me.

The Sephora Collection Wild Eyes Eyeshadow Palette is a 16-pan eyeshadow palette in matte, shimmer, and glitter finishes ranging from wearable-neutral to rich-bold shades. From wearable nudes to rich browns and radiant golds, this eyeshadow palette can be worn day and night.

The Sephora Collection Wild Days Eyeshadow & Face Palette is a multi-palette that includes eight eyeshadows in matte and metallic finishes and three face powders to help you create your festive holiday look. These wearable matte and metallic eyeshadows can be worn with the included blush, bronzer, and highlighter to complete your look. The palette is also made out of a velvety material that feels luxurious to the touch. Personally I found the bronzer to be too light for me but perfect for a body shimmer or eyeshadow.

The Sephora Collection Wild Wishes Cream Lip Stain Set is a matte, liquid lipstick set with six bestselling full-size Cream Lip Stains for the price of two. This silky and long lasting liquid lipsticks are comfortable to wear thanks to the avocado-oil-infused formula. The high-coverage color glides on smoothly, drying with a stunning matte finish. Try (or gift) this top-selling set for an experience that won‘t disappoint.

The Sephora Collection Under the Mistletoe #Lipstories Lipstick Set is a set of six full-size #LIPSTORIES Lipsticks in limited-edition shades perfect for the holiday season. This holiday-themed #LIPSTORIES set. Featuring six new, party-ready shades in creamy and metallic finishes, this set has something for everyone, making it the perfect gift for any beauty lover on your list. I absolutely love how creamy and smooth these lipsticks are.

#liketkit @liketoknow.it http://liketk.it/31rdP whether you need some holiday glam or a gift for your favourite make up lover, Charlotte Tilbury is perfect for this season #LTKunder50 #LTKbeauty #LTKstyletip Shop your screenshot of this pic with the LIKEtoKNOW.it shopping app

I was gifted these items by Charlotte Tilbury and I fell in love. So much so that I made a whole vlog about it. Check it out here.

You can purchase all of these at Sephora and if you use Ampli you will get cash back. In fact, by using the code AMPLI5 you will receive $5 just for signing up.

What are you getting your loved ones?

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Beginner’s Guide to Homeschool

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog today. I really appreciate your support and believe me, I am really grateful you took the time out to read this blog. Some of the products displayed on this blog have been gifted to me and this post may contain affiliate. If you choose to buy from these links you won’t pay extra, you fact you may even save money. I’ll get a commission which will keep this blog going. However, all opinions expressed are completely my own.

Like most parents, when it comes to my daughter’s education I knew I wanted to give her all the advantages that I never had. Thanks to Youtube, that has been made possible. It was a great ride I won’t lie. There are so many channels that make learning really fun and engaging for toddlers. I was not surprised that by the age of 2 my daughter could recite the alphabets, know them by site and their phonetic sounds. She could even count and make association with numbers, geometrical shapes and patterns. It was great.

Since my daughter is tall for her age, most people assume that she is to start school this year when in fact she’s still got another year to go. It didn’t stop me from thinking about her schooling. My daughter has an appetite for learning and that I’ve admired in her. I took it upon myself to start teaching her to how to read, write and basic arithmetic. Homeschooling had already been a desire of mine, prior to the pandemic, so I might as well start now.

Here are three things I wish I had known prior.

My daughter doesn’t learn like I do. Every child is different and every one of us is different. It doesn’t matter that we share 50% of the same genes. It doesn’t that she reminds me of myself as a child. It doesn’t even matter that she looks like me. It really doesn’t matter at all. She is not me. She will grasp other things at a faster rate and that she will most likely gravity towards those subjects. But we still learn differently.

Let’s face it. This is a different generation. Technology is introduced into their lives before they even know how to speak. And guess what? I make no apologies for it because I’m the one who introduced it to her. It’s a no brainer that she’d learn differently than I did as a child. Yet, patience is still a virtue that is required if you want to see fruitful results.

Practice makes perfect, not her, me! She’s learning how to do school but I’m learning to teach not just as a mom but as a teacher. That’s hard because now we have to find our rhythm. In theory, it’s the same as teaching them to sleep through the night or how to walk. And yet, it’s all so very different.

They won’t always get it right away. That’s ok. How quickly they get the information doesn’t make you a good or bad teacher. As long as you’re both able to have fun. That’s the most important part.

Take a break!

No seriously. Take a break. Do you need to get through this entire lesson right now? If it’s not working take a break. You can customize it how you want. Slow it down, speed it up, do what you need to do to make it work. After all nobody knows your kid better than you.

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I Don’t Know What I’m Doing, And That’s Ok

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I want to start off by saying thank you so very much for joining me here. I know that you could be doing anything and you are here. I appreciate that a lot. Just to let you know that this post may contain affiliates links. If you want to support me as a content creator, by all means purchase through the links provided in the post. You will never pay more, but you may save some money. At the same time, I will get a small commission. It’s a win-win for us both.

Here is my moment of truth, I don’t know what I’m doing. In social media or in real life, I’m just winging it day by day. I have an idea of what I want to do and how I want to spend my days. I know that I have a set number of chores that I want to get done so that my family can live in a home that is free of harm and toxicity. I know that I want to grow and thrive as a mother, wife, content creator, etc. I know that I want to impact everyone around me positively but I don’t have a road map to get me to point B. I believe that’s all part of being an adult.

As I’m writing, I am currently experiencing some light form of anxiety. My chest feels heavy and my heartbeat has increased. I have just put the baby to bed and I am afraid that the baby will wake up before I’ve had a chance to even finish this post. I don’t know if she will sleep through the night. Maybe she’ll wake up every two hours like she did last week.

Right as this thought runs through my head, I worry about the business deal that I’m going to have to present. I worry that I won’t be able to articulate to my investors why they should buy into this vision. Maybe they won’t be able to understand how it benefits them as much as it does me. I won’t let fear stop me but I do worry about being rejected.

I worry that despite all the research that I’ve done to unlearn the toxic traits from my childhood, my weaknesses may prevent me from being the wife my husband deserve and the mother my children need. I’ve been blessed with a beautiful and I’ve read and researched the best way to parent so that my kids won’t feel neglected and/or unloved. I’ve tried to implement the tools given to me but I still fail and come short more often than I would like.

As a content creator I worry that I am not effective. I worry that I’m not engaging and/or relatable. I wonder if I’m able to provide a service to my peers and communicate words of encouragement, wisdom and affirmations that ignite a desire for us all to succeed. I wonder if I’m doing this “influencer” thing right. I have the following but I can’t seem to do it like the others..

At the root of it all, I know I worry because I compare myself to others. I’m afraid of not being as “cool” as the others. I know I don’t have all the answers. I know my shortcomings and no matter how many “likes” I get, I secretly feel as though I will be seen what I lack instead of what I have. Maybe that’s imposter syndrome I don’t know.

The truth is I don’t know what I’m doing. But does anybody really know how to operate life? Isn’t that the point of living? To figure it out along the way and to enjoy every moment. What if there isn’t anything to figure out? What if we’re just here to do the best we can, the way we can?

I don’t know the answers to these questions…and that’s ok.

retinol, the skin saver

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hey there! Thank you so very much for checking out my blog. I really appreciate it. You could be anywhere but here you are with me. Just to let you know that this blog does contain some affiliate links, which I hope you will appreciate. If you so choose to click on these links you will not spend extra money but you will get some cash back with your purchase and for referring you I get some money too. It won’t make me an overnight millionaire but I will be able to continue providing you with some more content like this one.

The last time I wrote about Hyaluronic Acid and that did pretty well so today I thought I’d blog about Retinol as part of my #nablopomo challenge. Even though, I’m not a dermatologist I believe that the best data can be found through research and personal experience. Once we have said data, we should be able to share those findings so that you as a consumer can make the right choice for your lifestyle.

I have heard about retinol for a while but it wasn’t until a few of my favourite skin care influencers and dermatologists started talking about retinol that I began to pay attention. As a Black woman, I was always under the impression that since I was Black my face would not crack if I simply washed my face and applied a moisturizer. Then I got older and realized that the signs of ageing do not discriminate simply because I’m black. Also, I realized I needed more than a cleanser and moisturizer to deal with my seasonal temperamental skin.

On a whim I bought Retinol from The Inkey List. I wasn’t expecting much but I knew that I didn’t want to settle for whatever my skin decided to do on any given day. Also, the price point was really good and I got cash back on my Sephora purchase by using a cash back app called AMPLI so of course I was in.

Ampli is a cash back app that I use to get cash back on my purchases. If you sign up using the code AMPLI5 you will get $5 without purchasing a thing. That’s just for signing up. What do you think about that?

Let’s go back.

What is retinol?

Retinol is an alcoholized version of Vitamin A. It is often used to treat Vitamin A deficiency, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss. It is used in skin care to prevent wrinkles and take care of acne, which is right along my alley. More specifically, retinol is known to unclog pores, reduce acne breakouts as a result which therefore decreases acne scarring…because there are less acne appearing. It’s the catalyst to clearer skin so to speak. It’s also known for increasing the cell turnover rate which helps to show your best skin. If you’ve got some hyperpigmentation and/or dark spot, retinol might be a solution to try.

Some people may experience peeling and redness but that’s due to irritation which can be a side effect to retinol usage. Eventually, your skin will toughen up and build a tolerance to it. I personally did not experience irritation or peeling. Thank goodness.

I’ve just been using for a week so I haven’t really noticed much of a change to my skin, except for the hydration, and turns out that it can take up to 12 weeks to see the expected results. It’s also best to wear retinol at night to ensure that it’s not rendered inactive during the day. Not because of the sun but because we tend to do a lot with our faces during the day. As always consistency is king when it comes to long lasting change.

I bought The Inkey List Retinol Anti-Aging Serum from Sephora about two weeks ago. It comes in a white squeeze with black top. Everything about this packaging screams simple. It has no fragrance. The fluid itself has a gel like texture with a slight yellow tint. It’s quite thin for a gel-cream fluid. You don’t need a lot because a little goes a long way. I apply all over my face for an even finish right after using they hyaluronic serum. The serum has 1% retinol, 0.5% retinoid and squalane to hydrate and soothe.

Overall, I like it. The price point is perfect. The packaging is perfect. I can’t wait to see what my skin will look like.

Ampli is a cash back app that I use to get cash back on my purchases. If you sign up using the code AMPLI5 you will get $5 without purchasing a thing. That’s just for signing up. What do you think about that? There’s tons of places you can use it at not just Sephora. You should check it out.

Have you used retinol? How do you feel about it?

…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.

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Enjoy The Process: Process is Practice for Destiny

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Chapter 1: Process is Practice for Destiny

Process. I googled the word “Process” and the definition that came up is “a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end”. Everyone of us is involved in a process of some sort. We all have an end that we have envisioned for ourselves. We have grown up with dreams, fueled by passions and now that we are older, we’ve been given the opportunity to go after them. Our lives can be boiled down to just one word, process. 

From the moment we are conceived there is a process of growth that we are subject to. By the time we’ve reached the age of 5 we start going to school and that will last up until we graduate at the age of 17 or 18, for most of us. Then we undergo a different process. All these pathways ultimately are meant to give us a successful end. That end is our destiny. 

What is process?

Process is practice for our destiny. Most often when we are going through the process it comes with unfairness, hardship, separation (not isolation), transition and growth.  These are just tools used by God to teach us something or to guide and/or influence us into creating the right life habits. 

There is good news. The good news is that it’s temporary. None of this is permanent. It may take a long time, depending on how quickly we learn and/or the size of our destiny. However, rest assured you will not die in the process if you keep going through it. Here’s an example. 

In the Bible, one of my favourite person is King David. I love his boldness, his swagger, his love for God and just how real he is. This man was a man with great power, he wasn’t perfect, but he loved God and submitted to God. But despite his many successes, there were many times he had to go through the process. It wasn’t always pretty and I’m sure he didn’t enjoy it, but the end result was always worth it. He was always without a doubt better than the way he started. 

Unfairness, hardship, separation, transition and growth = fun?!

You’re probably wondering, how am I supposed to go through unfairness, hardship, separation, transition and growth and enjoy it? Transition and growth would make sense to me, personally but the first three, I don’t know. It took me over 10 years to break out of that mindset. I couldn’t enjoy the challenge of going through my experiences because I was looking at it all wrong. 

I wanted everything to be simple and easy. I wanted the answers to every question on the test without learning to use the tools I was given to work out the answers to every question on the test. There is no app to answer every inquiry in the world. Google can’t help me figure out why my father chose not to pursue a relationship with me, nor could it help me figure out why I couldn’t just forgive my father for not being in my life. This was an experience I had to go through. 

I was so busy being angry, I couldn’t see the lesson that God was teaching me. He was putting me in a position where I could forgive those who hurt me and love them despite their offense towards me. He taught me to take the power of my emotions out of my father’s hands and place them in His hands. He taught me to love despite the hurt I suffered and ultimately become sensitive and empathetic to the needs of those who may have felt rejected and alone, including my father. 

It was a dark process, and I don’t wish it on anyone but I’m sure glad I went through it. 

Biblical Example:

King David had his fair share of unfairness. I mean as a boy he’s a shepherd. He takes care of sheep and during this time he is faced with a lion and a bear. Alone! I don’t know about you, but these sheep would’ve been food for the lion and the bear if I was their shepherdess. However, David realizes that the sheep are counting on him for their survival, so he rescues them. Alone. At the time David, couldn’t have known that this would’ve been the practice he needed to defeat Goliath, and yet it was. The defeat of Goliath catapulted his fame throughout the land and gave Israel a much-needed victory. 

One would think that would’ve been the moment he’d step into his destiny and experience success. I mean everyone knew who he was by now. He even had his own song. Samuel had already anointed him, so it should’ve been easy sailing from that point on, right? That’s what I would’ve expected, in fact that’s what I always expect. But not really, it just led him into another process. 

Now he’s got to deal with a hater, the current king of Israel, King Saul. This guy takes David in, gives him his daughter has his wife, and then turns around and tries to kill him. David literally had to run for his life. He was forced to be separated from his home and his comfort. He is doing everything right and now he’s on the run?! The answer is yes. During this time, David sharpened his relationship with God writing some of the most beautiful psalms that we are still reciting today. 

Separation allows us to dig deep and let God lead us where he wants us to. David wasn’t just a warrior. During that period of his life, he no longer was a shepherd boy, but he became a worshipper. He became the man that could lead an entire nation back to the altar of God and change the spiritual trajectory of a nation. 

Then there’s the slip up. He finally becomes king and he manages to mess it all up. He and Bathsheba (a married woman, at that!) end up having a one-night stand. She gets pregnant. He creates a situation to have her husband killed and then marries the girl in hopes that it all goes away. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t. He humbles himself, repents and out of him comes Solomon, the future king of Israel. The one who builds the temple of God in Israel. 

The Point:

Process isn’t fun, in fact to even say that you’ll enjoy the process is an oxymoron. It’s not meant to be enjoyable. The beauty in going through the process is that at the end of it you will look back and realize that you were simply practicing for a destiny that is bigger than yourself. There’s so much about you that you don’t know, in fact there is a version of yourself that you haven’t even met. That person is kind, thoughtful, wise and full of life lessons. Fortunately, only those who are willing to go through will meet that version of themselves. 

So, go through the process and practice. Practice makes perfect. When perfection meets intention then lives are changed, not just yours but the world changes. Be perfect for your destiny.

Enjoy The Process: Introduction

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking my blog. I’ve decided to switch it up and introduce a portion of my book. I’ve been meaning to release it but I’ve been too scared. In all honesty, it’s more of an essay than a book. However, recently I lost a friend that I knew for a long time. We weren’t really close as of late but she and I kept in touch. She always said something positive.

Life is short. Our time on earth is borrowed. So I decided to put my fears aside and release this introduction. I hope you like it.

Introduction

Hey you! I want to start off by saying thank you for picking up this book. Whether you have a physical copy or an e-book, your support means the world to me. I am so grateful to you and am super excited about sharing what I’ve learned through my life experiences and from the Bible. 

Now before you get in too deep, I want to make sure that you fully understand what you’re headed into. I am not famous, I am not rich and am in no way shape or form some social media celebrity. I am just a girl with big dreams and after having them for so long decided to pursue them. I am still pursuing those dreams and I haven’t “made” it yet according to my standards. So, understand me when I say, this book will not give you the secrets of overnight success because, frankly, it doesn’t exist. If that were the case, we would all be overnight successes, sitting in our Bentley’s and buying our fifth mansion. 

This book is here to give you perspective on how to view the process and to love the season you are in. Understanding where you are can help you overcome certain situations, avoid repeating the same mistakes and keep you focused when setbacks come. Believe me, they come. I will be as honest as I can be and I promise to keep it real.

Life is full of ups and downs and sometimes there’s so much down that it becomes really easy to give up. The reality is that we can’t give up. We each possess a light inside of us that brings out the best of us. We are each empowered to be world changers. So, if you can read this book and come out with a new outlook in life that propels you forward into the next phase of your life, then I know that you can inspire someone else to do it. In other words, if I can do it you do it too. 

At the end of the day this book will not change your life, only you can do that. Only you can ride out the wave and learn the key lessons that will take you and your dreams to the next level. The good news is, one day things will be different, and you’ll get everything you prayed for. You may face different challenges but at the end of the day you’ll know how to “Enjoy The Process!”

Come back tomorrow for the first chapter.

Bmasked Sweet tooth Face Mask Review

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I’m so happy that you could join me today on my blog. I’ve been committing myself to writing one blog post a day for the whole month of November and so far it’s been going good. If you’ve been following along, I hope that the information that I have been able to share with you has been valuable. If so please let me know in the comments section below.

Disclaimer: This link may post some affiliate links, which allows me to do what I love which is, sharing with you products that I absolutely love. Also to give you insight as to what I use in terms of skin care, hair care and/or motherhood and everything in between. By all means, click the links below.

Today I am finally going to review the BMasked Sweet Tooth Face Mask. I’ve been using this face mask for a while and I am loving it.

But let me back up.

BMasked Skin Care is a Female Canadian owned skin care company that is all about sustainability and using quality locally sourced ingredients to provide the best for your skin care needs. Believe me the quality of the products speaks for itself. This brand is all about executing excellence with each product that it creates. If you’ve used a BMasked product then you know exactly what I am talking about.

Today I have decided to focus on the BMasked Sweet Tooth Face Mask. Lately, I’ve been trying different skin care products and slowly becoming obsessed with whatever a popular TikToker has been hyping up. All while, adjusting my skin care regimen to fit my skin needs for the fall/winter season. Unfortunately, instead of doing my due diligence and researching the product before using it, I decided to fall headfirst into a situation where now my skin is actually peeling. My face is really sensitive and peeling. In other words, I messed up my face.

I used the Sweet Tooth Face Mask because I really needed something to soothe my over-stressed skin, sure enough it delivered as promised. This mask is soothing and it literally calms the skin down as it restores the skin. It contains locally sourced honey which contains anti-inflammatory properties which helps with breakouts. This I need, because not only is my skin is sensitive (due to my abusive ways) but it is also acne-prone (due to my genetic ways…). I love that it has finely ground espresso and date seed powder to gently exfoliate dead skin cells without causing any further irritation to the skin.

Also I love coffee…a lot, so the smell of coffee on my face is a bonus.

This mask has a thick texture with a light brown tint. You can see the tiny specks of the exfoliants in it. It smells like coffee, which personally it screams HEAVEN! I used a mini face spatula to apply it because it is sticky, which I like because it stays in place. I leave it on my face for about 10 mins and then I rinse it off. My face is soft, calm and feels blessed beyond measure. It’s perfect if you have sensitive skin and/or if you’ve been abusing your skin because you’re buying things you shouldn’t be buying.

I highly recommend this face mask. It is currently a staple in my skin care regimen and will be for a while.

Are you currently using a face mask? Let me know below

Black Owned Brand Shopping Haul

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment
Hi there! Thank you so much for checking my blog. I’ve been taking part in #NaBloPoMo, where I’ve been writing a blog a day for the whole month of November. I’ve been proud to say that I’ve been pretty consistent so far and am hoping to keep it going until the end of the month.

Today I’m releasing a new(old) youtube vlog and since the holidays are upon us I thought it would be a good idea to highlight some of my favourite brands. Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my youtube video. This week I decided to highlight some of my favourite Black owned Businesses and Brands. Ever since June of this year I’ve decided to go and support as many Black owned businesses as I could. I wanted to make a difference in my community and for me this is the easiest way I could do so. I was inspired by @HabluTV and their “Support Black Business Challenge” to do this video. I believe that this time of year is the perfect to find the perfect gift for yourself and your loved without breaking the bank and knowing that you are making a difference locally. Most of these brands are Canadian Black owned I love them all so very much. So please go and support.

Which brands do you recommend I try next? Let me know in the comment sections

…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.
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Belif true cream-moisturizing bomb and youth creator-age knockdown review

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I just want to start off by saying thank you so much for checking out my blog. You could be doing anything, anywhere but here you are with me and this brings me so much joy. Just to let you know that this blog contains products that I’ve received from Influenster for free for testing purposes. Also, I have some affiliate links listed in this blog. If you so happen to want to try these items out and you purchase it from this blog you will be supporting me so that I can keep doing what I love. As always, all opinions expressed are strictly my own and I promise to spill all the absolute truth in this post.

For a while, I have been seeing Belif skin care pop up on my instagram feed. When Influenster decided to include me in their campaign I was all in. My skin tends to go from combination/oily skin to combination/dry once the season goes from hot to cold. My skin is not afraid to let me know that it requires moisture and more moisture as the seasons change. So I was pretty excited to try the Belif True Cream-Moisturizing Bomb and Youth Creator-Age Knockdown Bomb Serum.

True Cream-Moisturizing Bomb

This cream is described as a heavy cream that gives an explosion of moisture on the skin. It claims to provide up to 26 hours of moisture and is great for dull and flaky skin. Personally, I find that enticing since my skin tends to get so dry at times that it will flake. This heavy cream is cushiony and contains ingredients such as comfrey leaf, oat extract and panthenol. Comfrey leaf is an herb known to heal dry and calloused hands. Oat extract is known for its skin soothing and healing properties. Panthenol is great for attracting and holding in moisture, like a humectant. This cream is listed as good for normal, dry, combination and oily skin.

All of this is perfect for my skin as I transition my skin from fall into winter. Especially during the coldest months of the year it is needed, Canadian weather has not always been kind to my skin.

When I used the cream, I found that my skin readily and easily absorbed the cream. A little bit really goes a long way with this cream. It has a very pleasant and floral scent which is nice. It’s not distracting or overbearing. It goes away within a few minutes of application. It spreads very easily and can be used on the rest of the body not just the face. I really like how multifunctional its use is, even though I would just use it on my face. For now I plan to use it as night only because the weather is still mild. However, once the weather starts dropping into the negative double digits I will be using it twice a day to ensure my skin stays moisturized.

Belif Youth Creator-Age Knockdown Bomb

This anti-aging serum is described as a lightweight gel that is great for anyone who wants to reduce fine lines and wrinkles. It’s also supposed to reduce the appearance of enlarged pores and increase the skin’s elasticity to give off younger looking skin hence its name.

It contains ingredients like cedrol, winter aster and water pennywort. Cedrol helps to boost the skin’s elasticity and it’s firmness. Winter Aster is great for supporting the skin’s overall complexion. Water Pennywort helps to soothe the skin. It’s good to note that it’s vegan and comes in a recyclable packaging.

I personally loved this serum. It has this slight yellow tint but it goes on clear on the skin. It smells so good but the scent goes away right away. Like the cream, the scent gives me soft floral vibes and it’s not off putting. I found it moisturizing as well and very lightweight. The pump is easy to use and I just really like serum overall.

So this concludes my initial reaction of this anti-aging skincare duo. I will most likely continue using this alongside the rest of my skin care products. I have not seen any reaction that would cause me to stop and it seems to work well with my anti acne cleanser.

What’s your favourite cream these days? Let me know in the comments

By the way, you can purchase these items at Sephora as well which is great if you want to receive cash back on your purchase. By using Ampli you will receive $5 just for signing up and using the promo code AMPLI5. Then it’s smooth sailing from there.

…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.

Open Letter to my girls…

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

To my dearest princesses aka my #girlsquad!,

Today is just another random day. We are going through the motions in hopes that it helps you become the best version of yourselves. I don’t know what kind of women you’ll become but before I start overthinking, I promise to do my best not to cry until after I’ve finished writing this letter.

You are three and one year old. You have a limited view on the world but that view is full of fun, exploration and most importantly love. You both live in a stable home and you have Mommy and Daddy at home. We both love you more than you could ever know.

I chose to write you this letter because I didn’t want to display my love for you as an event. I want you to know that I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for making it through every single day with a positive outlook. I”m proud of you for teaching ME more than I could ever teach you about life. I’m proud of you for reminding me that life is more than just routine, a paycheck or a goal. Life is about living.

Thank you for teaching me that I am worth loving for the woman that I am and not for what I do. I’m not as confident as I appear and most of the time I’m going on a gut feeling and a whole lot of Jesus. I know that you will be ok no matter what comes your way but I am your mother. That part of me won’t go away until the day I die. Sorry. To answer your question, I won’t stop worrying about or be ready to kill for you and hide the body.

We won’t always get along. We won’t always agree. If I’ve raised you properly, then I can expect a challenge on pretty much everything I’ve taught you. You see, I want your respect and as much as I want your undying obedience,, that only belongs to God. I can’t have that.

Your job is to be you. The best version of you. That will be different depending on the day. Some days you will thrive and some days you will learn. Some days you will need to cut yourself some slack and some days you will need to whip yourself into shape. Don’t worry, you will know the when and how. If you need help, I’ll be there to guide you the best I can.

I’m not perfect. I know it. Don’t rub it in. Neither are you so there! *that’s where you get your petty from, sorry!*

I love you is an understatement but it’s true. I owe you for teaching me to love and be patient and to be a better Christian is an understatement but it’s true.

There’s a lot that will happen by the time you read this open letter. But one thing will remain true.

I love you. Unconditionally. Inexplicably. Simply because you’re YOU!

@sandyesprit

Trying to get a picture like…#MeLeaving #millenialmom #comingofage #itbelikethat

♬ Mom – Meghan Trainor
…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.
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3 ways to wear a denim top

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I want to start off by thanking you for visiting my site. You could be anywhere doing anything but you’re here with me and I really appreciate it. This post is different from what I usually do since I’ll be focusing on fashion, specifically a fashion item that can be worn stylishly in three different ways. The denim shirt.

Disclaimer: If you want to shop any of these looks, by all means, please follow me on liketoknow.it or click the link. Every purchase made on that site will provide me with a coin or two tossed my way. That of course is one of the ways you can support me and help me turn my hobby into a full-time paying gig.

Denim often gets a bad reputation for being the most casual fabric. In a way, it’s true. Denim has a way of just being able to channel the right amount of cool and swagger without appearing snobby. Denim is the friend that gets along with everybody

For starters, I want to set the record straight. In the spirit of honesty, I borrowed this denim shirt from my husband’s closet. He doesn’t know yet, and the plan is to keep it that way.

I fell in love with wearing my husband’s shirt when I was pregnant with my firstborn daughter. I gained quite a bit of weight and I was unprepared, so his closet offered me all the room I needed to grow but with the improper fit. Today, with the help of so many online stylist I know that I can cinch the shirt at the waist by tying a knot in the middle, it gives a false illusion of the hour glass figure. Also it looks like I’m dressing with a baggy shirt on top on purpose in a stylish way that looks cute.

I paired this shirt, with a strapless, sweetheart, knee length mint dress. The colour combinations screams youth and spring and rejuvenation and refreshing etc. In other words, it’s super cute and comfy and I look young.

Denim on demin:

This is my favourite look. I don’t have to worry about matching or whether or not it makes sense. Denim is universally cool. In order to avoid it looking too monochromatic, I made sure that the pant were a different of indigo. Otherwise, in my humble opinion it would be too boring.

Denim and the long skirt

It’s fall and for me it means that I’m not shaving my legs. In all honesty, I haven’t shaved my legs since I gave birth to my second daughter so I really don’t care. However, just because I don’t shave doesn’t mean I want others to see the state of my hairy legs. I mean I still care…not really.

I love long skirts. It’s like a blanket for my legs except there’s an opening at the bottom. I chose this grey lightweight ankle length skirt because in my opinion it makes my legs appear longer and taller…and because it’s like having a blanket around my legs.

https://www.liketoknow.it/sandyesprit
if you want to shop any of these click my face in the circle.

How do you wear your denim? Let me know in the comment section.

…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.
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5 Things (NEw) Moms Don’t want to hear

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for being you and for checking out my blog. You could be doing anything but here you are with me. I honestly appreciate your support.

As a mother of a 3 year and 1 year old, there are certain comments that I have heard and will probably continue to hear from others. For some reason, some people just don’t know how to speak to people and forget that mothers are human beings who just don’t need to be reminded that their womanhood is constantly being judged by society. So this may come off as a rant but I assure that my goal is to educate and hopefully help you be more sensitive to your new mom friend or loved one. And if you’ve been on the receiving end of these comments, I know how you feel.

Mind you this may not apply to every mom you meet but most of it will. Also just because this new mom is your BFF or relative, it doesn’t make your words any less hurtful. Moms go through a lot and the last thing we need is to be reminded that we are not the way we were. Believe me, WE KNOW!

  1. You look tired! – Wow! I wonder what gave it away. How puffy my eyes are? The dull look on my face? The fact that the life and well being of my children depends on my being available 24/7 without any days of or reprieve. Or that no matter how hard I try to relax when someone actually decides to take care of my children, my brain won’t stop imagining the absolute worst case scenario to remind me that I am helpless when it comes to the constant worrying over my children’s life. Please just bring me coffee and shut up. It better be the good kind too and not that crappy cheap stuff too. Thank you!
  2. You should breastfeed/bottle feed/feed more/feed less– Unless you are ready to be put in your place, keep your comments to yourself. Unless you are a licensed health care professional with backed scientific knowledge that will greatly improve the quality of life for the child that I literally just pushed out of my vagina in the presence of the designated people just keep it moving. You can not out love my child. It’s not possible. When the baby was in my womb, the baby grew and thrived. This baby is my responsibility and until you see signs of neglect or abuse just don’t go there. My baby is fed and happy and thriving.
  3. You should do something with your baby’s hair– Says who?! Hair grows and falls out naturally. The state of my child’s hair is hardly cause for concern unless (again!) licensed health care professional sees an underlying medical concern that needs to be addressed. Hair comes and grows. Whether I put barrettes or braid his/her hair is not going to affect the state of my child’s well being. It’s better to raise happy children who are confident in the way they look as opposed to pleasing the society’s status quo as to what a child should look like.
  4. How come you’re not losing weight? – A mother’s body …let me rephrase a woman’s body is not anybody’s source of visual entertainment. Her body, her choice. Furthermore, mothers have a hard time accepting the new body she has obtained, for crying out loud, give her time to appreciate the level of efficacy at which her entire reproductive organs have worked alongside with the rest of her body to maintain her and another human’s life. The execution with such precision that she can and will do again (if God sees it fit) is enough to celebrate that without the scrutiny of some loose skin and excess fat. AND BY THE WAY, that excess fat is tremendously important in the well being and safe keeping of that baby during it’s time in the womb. Did you think she’d push it out along with the baby and the placenta?! Every woman is different and every journey is equally different. Just feed her and tell her she’s beautifully amazing because she is. Don’t forget the cookies!
  5. Enjoy it while it last!– I want to, I really want to but I AM TIRED!!!!! There’s not enough coffee to keep me sane during this time. I don’t sleep, my body doesn’t match what my brain says I should look like, my kids need me, my husband needs me, I need me and I look and smell like the swamp thing except I just reek of body odor. What’s to enjoy? Sleeplessness? Let me dial it back. Yes they are cute and yes I love them to pieces. Yes they complete a part of me that I didn’t know I had. I love it but let a sister vent without the condemnation. If you miss it so much you’d have a baby in your house right now, keeping you and your household awake too. But guess what? You know their cuteness is a trap just as much as I do. So how about we “enjoy” this frustrating moment of motherhood.

Looking back at this post I clearly had some underlying frustrations that I needed to release. Unfortunately, these comments usually come from people who mean well and actually are looking out for our best interest. That in itself is really annoying because it hurts more. You figure they would know better but turns out they don’t.

How do you think I got here?

Did I miss a comment? Let me know in the comment section.

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Why Now Is The Best Time To Invest In Yourself

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I just want to start by saying thank you for being here today. I am honestly honored to have you read this blog. I know that life isn’t always easy and there are always curveballs being thrown at us. However, this is not the time to give up but the time to “dig deep”. I’m gonna try to keep it short because I honestly believe that this message doesn’t need embellishment.

You may need to rest but you can not give up. Whatever happens you can not give up. But you need to invest. Whether it’s financial investment or by spending time into yourself, now is the time to do and here’s why.

  1. Your gifts will help others reach their potential
  2. Having the ability to live life on your own terms
  3. Leaving a legacy behind that will create generational wealth
  4. Enjoy life abundantly

You deserve to live life happily. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you too and why not? Better yet, why not now?

…because summer isn’t over yet☀️ Myth: Only loose curls are considered “good” hair I bet you didn’t know that the right pj set can positively affect your sleep. Summer isn’t over yet! Thank you to @treehousetvofficial @stacktv @nelvanaent for sending over these goodies🥰 Isn’t it wild how a trend can become a trend if you put a new name on it? For example with hair it’s “The Clean Girl aesthetic”. This look is all the rage now but when I was younger nobody cared. Funny how what was once uncool is now cool. …and this is why I don’t compare my skin (or anything else) to anyone else’s. Last Thursday I attended the opening of the “HOW I LOVE YOU” exhibit, showcasing Black artists in the city and I was impressed. My husband and I had such a great time. We met great people and saw great art. “You broke the cycle 🙏🏻” I remember the days I prayed for a boring life. My childhood was unstable and chaotic. I never knew when we’d move next. We were homeless three times before we finally settled. I’ve attended over 10 elementary schools alone. I’ve lived in several cities and attended several churches.

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Fall Skin Care Products

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. Your support is greatly appreciated and believe me I do not take it for granted. This post does contain product that I’ve received for free but it does not change how I feel about them. All opinions expressed are simply and honestly my own.

When it comes to body care, the weather change may cause our skin to change drastically. The older we get more changes we notice and the more care we must take. I know with all the information that’s out there, it can be hard to find the right body care products.

Personally, my skin is in love with moisture, hydration and…did I mention moisture? It is the only thing that can satisfy my stressed, damaged and simply overdramatic skin. This is why I look for products with ingredients such as hyaluronic acid, niacinamide, shea butter and jojoba oil. All of these ingredients not only moisturize my skin but reinforce my skin barrier so that it can remain soft and healthy.

In my latest vlog, I mention my top 3 favourite body care products for Fall of 2020. I mention a fan favourite, a new found favourite and one that is from a Canadian Black Woman owned business.

Just because we aren’t heading outside doesn’t mean that our skin isn’t susceptible to the dry air in homes. This is mostly due to heater being on.

By all means check it out and let me know if your favourite made the list.

Don’t forget to subscribe and if you liked this video please give it a huge thumbs up!

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Fall Outfits that you can find on my liketoknow.it

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I just want to start off by saying thank you so very much for check out my blog post. You could be doing anything right now, but here you are with me and I appreciate it so much. In case you didn’t know, I have participated in #NaBloPoMo challenge. This is where I write a blog post every day for a whole month. I’m not going to lie to you, it takes preparation and some sacrifice but the fact that you’re here makes it all worth it.

Disclaimer: This blog post does have affiliate links. If you so choose to click on these links and make a purchase I get a coin or two tossed into my wallet. Believe me, you will never pay more and in some cases you may even save some money. You see, it’s a win for the both of us.

I never saw myself as a fashionista, though I’ve always had an affinity for style and fashion, my lanky features and disproportionate hip to waist ratio made it really hard for me to ever find anything that I liked. Also factor in the fact that I absolutely trying clothing at a store, well the rest is history.

It’s crazy because my mother is a licensed fashion designer and my grandmother is one of the most gifted seamstresses I’ve ever known. So it makes sense that the affinity would be there but it wouldn’t be until recently reconcile my taste for fashion. Even though I use to watch shows like What Not To Wear and Fashion Television I was never really able to showcase my style. Also, I really love being comfortable.

Loungewear is my thing. I love loungewear. A good loungewear set needs to functional, cute, good fit and can be worn different ways. If I can’t see myself wearing sneakers and heels with it, then it’s not the set for me.

For example,

https://www.liketoknow.it/ltk/eotjL9LVA1Fl2zneUlCkX
This tan Boohoo set can be worn differently when broken up.

I’ve worn this set in different ways since.

When I’m wearing errands I like to wear the pant with a neutral tank and a jacket to stay warm.
Pair the sweater with these faux leather pants and we’ve gone from stay at home to slay at home. Tuck in the sweater if you want to showcase that hourglass figure.
http://liketk.it/2ZgxT
I love this belted ankle tapered pants. I also like that it gives my tummy a tucked feel and all I need is heels and I’m ready to close the deal of my imaginary multi-billion industry.

One should never feel trapped by an outfit but freed by the endless possibilities. You worked for that money and if you choose to spend it on clothing, it should spark joy whichever way you see fit to wear. Also, looking fabulous is an instant by-product of feeling your best.

https://www.liketoknow.it/ltk/341mzJ2TFkPchTNHSUbock

Shop the look!

https://www.liketoknow.it/ltk/3SbtcPSP9tZ49yM9gaaqJB
Shop the look!

For awhile we were told that joggers could only be worn a certain, well we’re not doing that anymore. Dress it up if you’re feeling fancy and dress it down if you’ve things to do. You get to choose the way joggers are to be perceived.

Last but not least is my favourite loungewear set, EVER!

https://www.liketoknow.it/ltk/7t5umXt3qhdYkgaSuExA9d
Shop the look!

This set is the epitome of comfort at the highest level. This grey sweatpants and matching hoodie is the reason why women will leave their man’s hoodie alone…maybe. It is so comfortable and warm which is great for the fall winter season. It’s awesome if you want to binge or get work or travel. It makes for the perfect gift.

You can shop all of these looks by following me on LiketoKnow.It. This one stop shop for all your fashion influences. Did I influence you, Let me know in the comments or click on any of the links above.

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top 3 benefits of online shopping

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! I want to start off by saying thank you for checking out my blog. You could be reading anything and yet here you are hanging out with me. Maybe you need ammunition to justify a recent splurge or maybe you just want to read up on online shopping. I don’t know but either way I’m grateful you are here.

FYI: There are some links in this blog that if you so happen to click on it and/or use their services not only will you get to save money but you also help me out financially. There’s no pressure but if you want to put some butterflies in my belly…putting a little coin in my purse never did hurt anyone.

Ok, let’s get started.

I personally am that person that absolutely hates, and I mean HATE shopping. I do not believe in retail therapy. The very idea of walking into a store and having to sort through the aisle looking for a product that I have in mind that may or may not exist fills me with angst and anxiety. I absolutely hate going through the racks of the clothes just to pick out something that looks somewhat decent at an adequate price point, then to go to the fitting rooms that barely fit me and my oversized winter jackets. Followed by the act of shamelessly trying on the outfit just to be met with utter disappointment of the mediocrity that is on my body, just makes me feel like…ugh! Yes, I am that girl. I don’t do shopping sprees. But from the comfort of my home, in a judge free zone, without any pushy sales person trying to be my friend so she can make a sale…well all bets are off.

It can be done at home

Nowadays, you can shop for anything from the comfort of your home. You can check out a website or download an app on your phone, link your financial information and get what you need with the knowledge that you will receive your item in a few moments. Depending on where you order from or what you order you can receive your beloved quite quickly. It’s like getting a gift in the mail every time. You don’t have to turn it into an event unless you want to.

You could be lying in bed in three day old pajamas and no one will care. Did you shower? Does it matter? No and no. Are your kids screaming at the top of their lungs because they are pretending to be pirates on the hunt for a hidden treasure? Does it even matter? No! You’re not bothering anyone. You are home. You are safe.

You could be lying in bed in three day old pajamas and no one will care. Did you shower? Does it matter? No and no. Are your kids screaming at the top of their lungs because they are pretending to be pirates on the hunt for a hidden treasure? Does it even matter? No! You’re not bothering anyone. You are home. You are safe.

Also think about how much you are doing by staying home. There’s a pandemic going on and you’re doing your part by maintaining more than six foot distance. Personally, it’s my favourite form of social distancing. But then again I’m an introvert and a mother with a pretty good imagination. That’s a recipe for my anxiety to reach abnormally high levels for absolutely no reason.

Also, not only are you saving your gas but you are also reducing pollutants. You are doing your part in the environment for the environment. We’ll also not include the way the packages get to your house for the sake of “we’re doing our part by saving the environment!” argument, ok? Thanks.

Store hours, what store hours?

Unless you are ordering groceries, there is no such thing as a closing time. All the online shops remain open for those moments you feel inspired. Let me give you an example.

You may see this outfit on your feed and feel inspired to get your very own #aeriereal grey loungewear that make you feel like the heavens opened up and God, Himself, hugged you in His sweet fluffy and comforting goodness. I’m just saying…

Lucky for you can get this look by clicking on my liketoknow.it link and get your very own grey sweat pants and matching hoodie for yourself and/or your loved one. I mean at this point, if your man really wanted you to stop wearing his hoodie he would just get you this set and all would be well. I’m just saying.

You can shop any look, any time and not worry about anything anybody has to say. Feel like having a shopping spree at three in the morning? Go for it!

Easier to save money

When it comes to shopping I always feel better knowing that I can save money without digging for a cut up coupon stuck deep in my wallet under the pile of receipts I’ve collected. I love using promo codes and discount codes. Even cash back app are a great way to save money. A lot of the times your favourite influencer, including myself, get really great discount codes in hopes to drive traffic to retailers and do you know what we do with them? We share them.

With the holidays we’re all looking to score a sweet deal. I know that Sephora will soon be having their winter sale and what better time it is not just to save money but to put some money back into your pocket. I use Ampli which is a cash back app. This means that when you make a purchase you actually get some money back. The great thing is you can use at so many stores that you don’t have to wait until you are splurging to get cash back. And you don’t have to wait until you reach a super high amount to cash out. It’s available in Canada and the US, so if you so chose to sign up click here and use the promo coded AMPLI5 to get $5 once you finish signing up.

If you want to get your personalized vitamin order, I’ve got a code for that. Persona does that and all you have to do is take a 5 minute assessment quiz. Not only do you get your vitamins delivered to you every month, but it has your name on it so you know it’s yours. All you have to do is click here and use the promo code SANDY50 to save %50 on your first order.

So you see? It’s quite easy to save when shopping online. You save money. You save time and you save yourself the fatigue of having to pack two tiny humans in a car while forcing them to behave in a place that you just don’t want to be in…or maybe that’s just me.

Let me hear you. Why do you love online shopping?

Vitamins & Minerals For Healthy Skin

Featured / Sandy Esprit / 3 Comments

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. I really appreciate it. I’ve decided to take part in NaBloPoMo which stands for National Blog Posting Month. This entails me to write a blog a day, everyday for the month of November and I’m hoping to actually to pull through and finish this challenge with the same enthusiasm that I have started it with.

Here’s a little disclaimer, there may be some affiliate links in this post and this is a win-win for the both of us. If you choose to click on those, you get to save some money, get awesome service and I get a little bit of money which in turn will help me do what I love most, which is supplying you with the most informative blog post so that you can live your best life. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let me introduce you to some of the most life changing vitamins and minerals that will help keep your skin glowing all year long.

When it comes to healthy skin, we all want to appear like we have it together. We want that refreshed, rejuvenated and healthy looking skin. When we look our best, we feel our best. So many times, cosmetic brands will have us believe that we need to break the bank and get the most expensive thing on the shelf in hopes to get results that most people only have when they photoshop their photos. I’ve done it. Believe me, I’m not judging. But do you know that you can help your skin out by putting these vitamins and minerals in your body and not just on your face?

Collagen

If you’re over the age of 30, you may have started to see changes in your face. Some lines may have started to appear and signs of ageing are very apparent around the laugh lines and eye area. This is where collagen comes in.

Collagen is a protein that forms most of the connective tissues in our bodies such as muscle, ligament and skin. In the skin, it’s responsible for skin elasticity and hydration. Without it, you guessed it? The wrinkles get a VIP pass on our face. As we get older, the production of collagen decreases in our skin, hence the fine lines.

Collagen supplements such, as Collagen Lift Canada are great. I personally noticed that my face started to look better after a week of use. I just pop the vial and drink like a shot.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C is another skin superpower. These days it is not uncommon to see serums, cleansers and many other topical cosmetic products with Vitamin C as a part of their formula.

For the most part, it’s been known to boost our body’s immune system. But that’s not all it does. It stimulates the production of collagen and helps protects the skin from antioxidant due to UV rays. I told you it was a skin superpower. Here’s to fighting off bad germs and wrinkles.

Omega 3

Omega 3 fatty acids are the ones we should thank for allowing us to stop stigmatizing the word fat. For awhile, I remember people not understanding that we all have fat and need fat to survive. It’s literally a part of our survival.

They are also a crucial part of our skin’s ability to have that healthy glow. You see, omega 3 helps to moisturize the skin and remove dry and itchy skin. This is because it helps the skin barrier function by keeping the moisture in the skin and keeping it from leaving. It’s like an entrapment for moisture in your skin. Furthermore, some researches proposed that they help the skin fight against the damages from the sun. So you see, fat is good for your skin.

Vitamin A

If you’ve heard of retinoids, then you’ve heard of vitamin a. These days it seems like everybody and their momma is hooked on retinoid or some form of it. And it’s completely understandable and justifiable.

When you ingest vitamin A, it goes through the liver and breaks down into retinol. Retinol(yes the very same retinol that Hyram talks about) is a key component is skin cell production. It speeds up healing, prevents breakout and supports the skin’s ability to defend itself against the toxins that it encounters on the regular. Believe me, it encounters a lot more than you would think. All of this is great news, if you’re looking to have acne-free, glowy looking skin.

I normally…

get all vitamins from Persona and I’m so happy that ever since I’ve been taking these I’ve noticed that skin looks better, I feel better and I generally am not too worried as much. As much as these vitamins are great for the skin, their function don’t just stop there. They are so multi funtional and purposeful when it comes to our general well-being and health.

Use the code Sandy50 to save 50% on your Persona order

Companies like Persona make it really easy for me and people like me to take the vitamins we need everyday, twice a day if need be . They have a team of scientist, nutritionist and researchers to provide over 40 vegan supplements. All you need to do is fill out a 5 minute survey to get your own personalized (it has your name on it too!) vitamins delivered to your door every month.

You can try out Persona and 50% off your first order by using the promo code Sandy50.

Is there any skin loving vitamins that I missed out on? Which vitamin or mineral do you swear by?

Let me know.

Featured

Why Johnsons Cottontouch Baby Lotion Is My Bedtime Secret Weapon

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog today. I really appreciate your support and believe me, I am really grateful you took the time out to read this blog. Some of the products displayed on this blog have been gifted to me and this post may contain affiliate. If you choose to buy from these links you won’t pay extra, you fact you may even save money. I’ll get a commission which will keep this blog going. However, all opinions expressed are completely my own.

By now you’ve heard of the Johnson’s Cottontouch baby lotion which was a part of their massive rebranding launch back in 2018. If you’re a mother to a baby or a toddler, then I’m sure you’ve heard of this lotion unless you’ve been living under a rock. This lotion is designed and formulated with newborns in mind. This is great for their sensitive skin. This newborn face and body lotion is extremely light, has a very thin consistency, almost milk-like. It absorbs extremely quickly into the skin and provides 24 hours worth of moisture.

The whole idea behind Cottontouch is that from the moment they are born, you can from that connection with your new babythrough touch. Touch is so important as it is one of the most powerful way to form that bond.

However I didn’t realize how much I would love this lotion for not just my baby but for both of my girls. Aside from the fast absorption and it’s ability to provide moisture without causing my girls’ skin to have a reaction, the fragrance is what makes this lotion so worthwhile. It’s also the reason why a year later after the birth of my baby, I am still using this lotion on her.

The lotion smells like cotton and it is so soothing. When I get my girls ready for bed the most important thing is to avoid anything that can stimulate them. I’m trying to avoid stimulation because by the time bedtime rolls around this mama is tired. I need to wind down myself.

Since the first time I’ve used this on my girls, the smells instantly lifts my mood. It’s therapeutic in a way. I apply it to their body and I see them smile because we’re usually talking about the day and I’m doing a silly face. It is a part of our bedtime routine.

I love that it doesn’t leave my hands sticky or heavy. It doesn’t matter how many pumps for lotion I use my baby’s skin is soft and moisturized and so is my hands. It’s perfect all season long.

Is there a bedtime staple that you can’t go without? Let me know in the comments.


*LIKETOKNOW.IT SANDYESPRIT

*GRENADE USE PROMO CODE SANDY

*PERSONA NUTRITION SANDY50

*AMPLI CASH BACK AMPLI5

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Being A Black Mother in 2020

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. Your support is greatly appreciated and believe me I do not take it for granted. This post does contain product that I’ve received for free but it does not change how I feel about them. All opinions expressed are simply and honestly my own.

I was once asked to write about what it’s like being a Black mom. At first, I wasn’t ready to dismiss this as a topic because I just didn’t want to face these issues, in all honesty. I thought no one would care about what I had to say on the matter.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my experience as a Black mother actually differs quite drastically, especially when compared to my Caucasian counterparts. As a Black mom, a first generation Haitian, living in a Eurocentric based society built off of systemic racism, there are just certain things that Black moms have to do differently or approach differently for the well-being of their children.

Disclaimer: This is not an anti-white blog posts, I am just listing my experiences as a Black. I would like to add that I am very proud of being a woman, being Black and being a mother. I wouldn’t change any of this for anything in the world.

For starters, here a list of things I heard growing up. Usually, these would be a series of conversation starters that would be followed by a lecture or a series of instruction.

  1. “You have to work twice as hard to make it in the world…”
  2. “If the police approach you…”
  3. “Some people won’t like you because of the colour of your skin…”
  4. “Your body is perfect just the way it is…”
  5. “Driving While Black”
  6. “You are not allowed to be angry”
  7. “No matter how successful, you will be seen as a threat…”
  8. “Black fathers do exists…”
  9. “Be careful if you speak out, you will be seen as aggressive…”
  10. “Not all of your Caucasian friends are anti-racist…”

These are moments that I have experienced that I know I will have to prepare my children for. There will always be a reason for people to be evil. I do believe in a better tomorrow. I am hopeful but I am also very cautious. After all, I am a Black mom.

Most mothers that I know, are naturally protective of their young. It’s instinct. It’s primal. It’s biological. Often times, as moms, we do everything we can to ensure that our children are well cared for and have all the tools necessary to thrive in this world. Unfortunately, for us BIPOC it involves having the race talk way younger than we would. It means having to explain to them that no matter how nice, polite or pleasant they are they will be seen as a threat. Especially, if they are males.

I don’t want to be that helicopter parent that is constantly hovering her children. But based on the media coverage of the brutalization and blatant murder of our own, I am becoming more and more skeptical. Things are starting to make sense and I am becoming aware that as adults we have a choice to make. At times, speaking up in the workplace as a BIPOC is seen as being hostile and creating a toxic work environment.

I can remember the countless times that my body was sexualized before I even knew what that meant. If I was picked on I had to just deal with it, because being called a racial slur was “kids being kids”. My hair had to be “presentable”. The police isn’t our “friend” and it’s better just to avoid them all together. Being gaslighted is a normality that I didn’t realize was abnormal until recently.

This is NOT the world I want my kids to grow up in.

They deserve better. So much better. That is why I’ve decided to become a stay at home mom. I wanted to teach them my way. I wanted my daughters to have the space to be exactly who they are meant to be. They can be fearless leaders and speak their minds with respect and understanding. They are safe at home to be themselves and not just another minority.

They can learn their history as it was and not the white washed or nitpicked version of whatever the world says it is. Furthermore if we don’t know where we’ve been, we won’t know where we’re going.

I truly believe that if I want to see the change, then change must start at home. In short, being a Black mom is like being a mom. A mom who is a Black woman who has faced prejudice at school and in the workplace. A mom who has experienced hate before she could even introduce herself. A mom who’s had to bite her tongue to preserve her child’s innocence. A mom who’s tired of seeing another hashtag pop up on her timeline, knowing that one day in the near future I will have to explain what those names mean. A mom, who’s had to accept disrespect from others to avoid creating a “toxic” work environment or to keep her job. A mom who’s been told to go back where she came from, got slapped in the face and that day was ready to lose her job. I know I will have those conversations with my girls. What will I tell them? I don’t know.

That’s my experience as a Black mom.


*LIKETOKNOW.IT SANDYESPRIT

*GRENADE USE PROMO CODE SANDY

*PERSONA NUTRITION SANDY50

*AMPLI CASH BACK AMPLI5

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Surviving Homeschool…the First Week

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog today. I really appreciate your support and believe me, I am really grateful you took the time out to read this blog. Some of the products displayed on this blog have been gifted to me and this post may contain affiliate. If you choose to buy from these links you won’t pay extra, you fact you may even save money. I’ll get a commission which will keep this blog going. However, all opinions expressed are completely my own.

Like most families, it was the beginning of school in my house. Unlike most families, I started school with my three year old daughter. I knew that I wanted to homeschool from the moment she was born. Throughout the years, I saw my little one become a sponge when it came to retaining information. By the time, she was a year old she knew that if she yelled at me she had my attention. By 18 months old, she could say her body parts. By, 2 she was potty trained and knew her alphabets, could make the phonetic sounds they produced and could count to ten and hold a conversation. Everywhere, we went people were amazed at how much she knew and could express. I wish I could take all the credit but between Cocomelon, Super Simple Songs, The Backyardigans, Alphablocks and pretty much whatever I could find on YouTube to keep her occupied when I needed a moment, she turned out all right. So I thought, why not further feed her thirst for knowledge and start homeschooling her now?

I wish I had known what I was in for.

As you know, it’s only been a week but I just want to say for the record PAY THESE TEACHERS WHAT THEY ARE WORTH!!!

We started our sessions, the Tuesday morning after Labour Day, I wanted us to have a full “school in session” kind of vibe. In all honesty, all she saw was a colourful notebook, some crayons and an overly excited mom…it was probably the coffee mixed with the nerves. I thought it’d be best to start with some alphabet tracing. Since she knew her alphabets it wouldn’t be hard to make that connection, right? My daughter is a genius who is capable of mastering all information within a matter of minutes, right?Wrong!

I don’t know what I was thinking placing such high expectations on my three year old daughter. I will spare you the nightmare. Let’s just say, my once energetic child who would rather do anything than take a nap was actually looking forward to taking a nap. She hated it every minute of alphabet tracing. I was getting frustrated because she wasn’t doing it “right” and she was frustrated and began to shut down. Then I felt like a jerk but I just wanted her to get it right…it was a nightmare. Looking back on it, I really screwed up her first two days and I wasn’t feeling confident in my ability to teach my daughter anything at this point. I just felt like a bum. In a few minutes, I sucked the excitement out of learning.

So I had a teacher’s meeting with myself. The first one of the year. I decided to set some rules that I had to abide by. I knew that if I could do that, we both would be better off. The goal isn’t just to get her to learn but to inspire to enjoy learning. What’s the point of learning at home if it sucks? I knew that I had to learn the way to teach her. She doesn’t learn like me, so to expect that out of a toddler who loves to have fun is ridiculous. I mean we only look alike, aside from that we are two very completely different beings. I wrote down the rules and here they are.

  1. Keep each lesson at a maximum of 10 minutes
  2. Once she’s done, move on. Come back to it, tomorrow
  3. Learn her “learning style”. Turns out, she loves to colour! Use that.
  4. Positive affirmation is key
  5. Let her lead.

I’ve been doing this ever since. Would you believe that we’ve been able to get through every lesson? She’s been learning how to write the alphabets a lot more quickly as well as the numbers. We’ve been able to even do some math problems, which is her favourite subject. I think it’s mostly because she gets to colour.

We’ve even added some flash cards into the mix to help her get more familiar with sight words. She absolutely loves the flash cards. Everyday we start our lesson with the flash cards. I usually do a game of sorts with her and the best part of it is, I see the spark return as she is soaking all this information.

On most nights, it’s not uncommon to see my three year old show her father what new word she’s learned, or what sight word she can now write on her own. She loves hearing his praises of her smart she is. At times, she will even pretend that she’s a teacher. It’s really an awesome feeling to know that I can impact my daughter in a way that will ultimately set her for success.

So to all the parents out there, I’m super proud of you for the job you are doing. This year has been challenging and whether you are sending your kids back to school or keeping them at home, I just want you to know that I see you and that I appreciate you doing what’s best for your family. We’re all in this together!

The Perfect Wash and Go Tutorial

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

www.youtube.com/watch

It came highly requested and as promised here it is!

For many of us getting curls that are really defined with any frizz is a 12 step process with much prayer. But I’ve figured out a way to get your curls seen front and centre, everytime. Unless it rains then you’re on your own.

All you need is three ingredients.

The products used are:

1. @earthtonesnatural Curl Quench Hair Butter https://www.earthtonesnaturals.com/pr…

2. @earthtonesnatural Curl Define Max Curl Enhancing Gelly https://www.earthtonesnaturals.com/pr…

3. TGIN Honey Whip Hydrating Mousse https://malachite-elephant.com/produc…

In less than half an hour you’ll be rocking your wash and go like a pro.

What I love about this hairstyle is that it’s super versatile, easy to maintain and can last up to five days. I’ve worked out, showered and slept without much disruption with this hairstyle. I recommend anyone who’s on the verge of banning wash and go from their hair to try this method first. If you do let me how it goes!

Check Out My Wig Collection

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. Your support is greatly appreciated and believe me I do not take it for granted. This post does contain product that I’ve received for free but it does not change how I feel about them. All opinions expressed are simply and honestly my own. 

Also, it’s super easy to wear. Unless you’re dealing with those new high definition lace front that require a full five step process, all you have to do is cut the lace, put it on and adjust. You should always wear a hair net to avoid unnecessary friction between the wig and your hair. Aside from that it’s easy peasy. 

Here are some easy ways to test a new hairstyle: WIGS!

Have you ever worn a wig? What’s your experience been like?

Colorism Almost Ruined Me

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

I remember a lot of the comments that were made about my physical appearance when I was young. Not many of them were good. In fact, I don’t remember much at all that were good.

I was told I was smart. That I was well spoken. That I was mature for my age. That I looked older than I was. I was told that I was bright and insightful. Talkative and inquisitive. I had potential to be a doctor or a lawyer. That I read beyond my grade level.

I was never called cute or beautiful. I was tall, lanky and awkward. Most of my clothes were baggy on me because naturally children’s clothes aren’t customizable. The sleeves were often too short and the pant leg too short. I had no sense of style and no matter how hard I tried I never could replicate what I saw on tv.

Between my sister and I, I was the “darker” one, so she was cuter than me by default. Colourism is a cancer that silently kills the confidence of black girls worldwide. Even in the home. No matter how hard my mom tried to shield me from it, every time my sister and I stepped into a room where we were introduced we both knew from the looks what was coming. Children aren’t stupid. Even as children, we were silent but not stupid. We knew what they thought and some made it very clear they had a preference.

I never fit in. I was too eloquent and well spoken to be black. That reality was very real when I lived in Florida. In fact, I was warned that I would make myself a target if I didn’t change my way of speech. It sucks. Imagine learning a language so well and still be told it’s not good enough because it’s too perfect.

If it’s not my weight, it’s my height. If it’s not my speech, it’s my thought. Then fast forward a few decades and I’m projecting my own insecurities on my children. I’m denying myself the ability to heal by putting on a mask.

I have a fear of being slim. I’m afraid that those words of my childhood will return to haunt like the ghost of Christmas past. I’m afraid that if I go below a certain weight class I will no longer be seen as a woman but as a less than deserving citizen.

I have a fear of not being black enough. I’m afraid that if people see the me that my family sees, I will be seen as an “Oreo”. I’m afraid of being addressed as an outsider and treated like I don’t belong.

I have perfected my accent, I have become cool enough, loud enough and “black” enough to be seen as a black woman. What will happen if the world finds out that I really don’t like Rap the way they thought I did? What if they know that I’d rather listen to Mozart over T-Pain? What if I’m labeled an imposter?

The nightmare is what if I begin to project my own insecurities on my girls. The things I fear, they too, begin to fear? Will silently contemplate and weigh every word of flattery they hear? Can I be trusted to teach them they are worth far more than the treasures of this world while I secretly and silently battle my own past?

I was a child in need of affirmation. I needed to believe I was beautiful. Though the past is over, I have a duty to heal from that trauma. That chapter must close. If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self how beautiful she was. She’s beauty and brains which make her a rare treasure. I would tell her that her weight and height were perfect. She doesn’t need to over eat to gain weight. She doesn’t to be lighter or darker. She’s perfect just the way she is.

FYI: I’ve got a vlog so if you want to check that out click here

Talk to me in the comments!

Vichy Normaderm Phytosolution Giveaway

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Hi there! Thank you so much for being here. Your support as always means the world to me. In this vlog, I have collaborated with Vichy to share with you a really simple and effective three step skin care routine that is gentle on the skin and super effective in getting rid of acne, even if your skin is sensitive like mine. GIVEAWAY ALERT: This video does include a giveaway alert so stay tuned to the end to see how you can get your hands on these amazing products. For the rules of giveaway visit me on Instagram http://www.instagram.com/iamsandyesprit Disclaimer: This vlog is sponsored by Vichy but all opinions expressed in this videos are my own. Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE to the channel, LIKE this video and SHARE with your friends and family. Filming Tools: iPhone 8 8” ring light Editing app: iMovie app Check what else I’m doing online and click this link to stay up to date http://www.iamsandyesprit.com/linkinbio #vichy #skincare #review #giveaway #ad

I’m Becoming The Woman I Really Like

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Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog today. I really appreciate your support and believe me, I am really grateful you took the time out to read this blog. Some of the products displayed on this blog have been gifted to me and this post may contain affiliate. If you choose to buy from these links you won’t pay extra, you fact you may even save money. I’ll get a commission which will keep this blog going. However, all opinions expressed are completely my own.

A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of being a guest blogger for Robyn Liechti. I shared a piece of my journey and I really hope you enjoy it but most importantly that it pushes you to reach for better. Click the link below.

https://robynliechti.com/blogs/the-5-ws-of-journaling/im-becoming-the-woman-that-i-really-like-sandy-esprit

If you want to continue on your self care and are in need of a journal (I highly recommend) use promo code Sandy2020! Save 10%.

To support buy some merchandise from Grenade and use promo code Sandy25 to save some money.

Four Step Makeup Routine

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog today. I really appreciate your support and believe me, I am really grateful you took the time out to read this blog. Some of the products displayed on this blog have been gifted to me and this post may contain affiliate. If you choose to buy from these links you won’t pay extra, you fact you may even save money. I’ll get a commission which will keep this blog going. However, all opinions expressed are completely my own.

This week I was guest blogger. Click the link below to see what I wrote!

https://www.audreysaysfashion.com/fortheculture/simpleandquick4stepmakeuproutine

To support buy some merchandise from Grenade and use promo code Sandy25 to save some money.

Summer Skin Care Favourites

Featured / Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog today. I really appreciate your support and believe me, I am really grateful you took the time out to read this blog. Some of the products displayed on this blog have been gifted to me and this post may contain affiliate. If you choose to buy from these links you won’t pay extra, you fact you may even save money. I’ll get a commission which will keep this blog going. However, all opinions expressed are completely my own.

I’ve been able to try a few skin care brands over the summer and I’ve been able to have some that worked out well for me and some that were not so great. Now of course, I will be highlighting all of the products that I really loved. The beauty of it all is that a lot of those products can be used all year long. Of course, as always, the best way to know what works best for your skin to listen to it.

shared246Sunscreen is the holy grail of all skin care. Why? Because it keeps your skin from burning. As a Black girl, finding a sun protection that kept me looking like me and not like a zombie extra from The Walking Dead, proved to be harder than I thought possible. Eventually I stumbled upon the Neutrogena Hydroboost SPF 30 and bought it on a whim. Am I glad I took that chance. This sunscreen has hyaluronic acid which is awesome for skin hydration. It feels great on the skin and it doesn’t have that white cast which would look make me look ashy.

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I’ve finally started using serums because …well, why not? My skin was desperately in need of one, to be honest. I noticed that my skin was starting to look dull and unless I had on some makeup on. I was gifted this serum and had little hope for it, but this Vitamin C Radiance Serum is bringing life and joy back into my skin. It brightens my face and I’m here for all the natural glow. Honest Beauty, has done amazing with this serum. img_4826

My other favourite serum is the Vichy Mineral 89 serum is nothing short of amazing. It provides the hydration that I didn’t even know my skin needed. Y’all my skin was thirsty but ever since I’ve started implementing this serum into my skin care routine, I’ve seen major improvement on the look and appearance of my face. It’s amazing how easy it is to fix thirsty when it receives the right amount of hydration. img_4836

I suffer from chronic acne and as a woman who constantly uses acne fighting cleansers and moisturizers can be quite harsh on the skin. This is why I love BMasked Dandelion Salve. This salve is great for dry extremely dry and for the real sensitive areas of the skin without irritating it and/or causing more acne. The under-eye and the high points of my cheekbone is where I mostly feel the tingle when my skin is irritated by my cleanser and/or moisturizer. The dandelion salve immediately soothes my skin so I can just move on with my day.

Last but img_4834not least the Honest Beauty Facial Oil. I was so afraid of using a facial oil. I mean I have acne visiting me every time it gets and here I am experimenting with a facial oil. Not exactly something I would naturally go towards. But as you can see it’s on the list. This facial oil smells amazing. Two drops takes care of the whole face. But the most amazing part of this is that it doesn’t leave my face shiny and it doesn’t cause breakouts. Talk about a win-win. I love this facial oil. I think everyone should have one.

 

This is my list for now. I hope you enjoyed it. If you tried any of these, let me know what you think.

Lay, Slay and Keep Your Edges

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Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. I really appreciate your support and as always all opinions expressed are my own. All items shown in this blog were bought by me, so hopefully that will ease your mind as to the validity of my thoughts. 

So let’s get it!

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My Edges Are Back!

My hair line left me when I gave birth to my daughter. I’m not going to lie, I was very upset about this. During the pregnancy my hair was thriving, then I gave birth and my edges just up and left. But eventually they came back and now I get to use lay my edges. 

 

 

What You Need

Water (optional)

Got2b styling gel

Toothbrush

Hair scarf

Instructions

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  1. Separate a thin section (very thin) of the front of your hair away from the rest of your hair. 
  2. (this step is optional) Spray the thin part of your hair with water. 
  3. Squeeze a pea-sized amount of gel into your finger. You want to start small and build up. Using too much will create a tacky mess and you don’t want that. Your skin deserve better (thanks for coming to my Ted talk)!
  4. Apply the gel on a section of your hair. 
  5. Brush the hair in a semi circle towards the rest of the hair. You can use your finger to help manipulate the hair. 
  6. Once all the sectioned edges have been laid down, use a scarf to keep the hair down until the gel dries
  7. Once the gel is dry, gently remove the scarf. 

Edges Laid

Just like that you’ve got your edges laid and you’re ready to slay. Let me know how it worked out for you.

Was there a step I missed? Let me know in the comments. 

1 Scarf, 3 Ways

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Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out my blog. I appreciate you being here. It means a lot to me. If you’ve been following my blog you know that all opinions expressed are completely my own. This post is not sponsored and all I want to do is share my favourite head scarf style.

So let’s get into it. 

Why Head scarf?

My love for head scarf started when I was in high school. I couldn’t wear a hat in school because it was against dress code, however head scarves were not. Like most girls, I don’t always want to do my hair. Some days I was running late other days I just couldn’t bother.  Either way, you can’t have a bad hair with a head scarf. 

These are my favourite looks and on any given day you can find me rocking one of those looks. Usually when I’m going to church, I’ll wear a scarf like this. It’s not easy getting two little girls ready and myself and I’ll often run out of time. So instead of doing my hair, I slick my edges back and wrap my hair. 

Let me show how you can achieve these effortless looks with a scarf. 

Low Bun

image_d113d395-783d-4edf-b138-fef3e59efb1a.shared1191. Place the top part of your head in the middle of the scarf

2. Bring the ends to the back of your head and use the ends of the scarf to create a two strand twist

3. Once your two strand twist is complete, keep twisting it on itself until it folds on itself

4. Manipulate the twist into a circle until it becomes a bun

5. Tuck in the ends within the bun

6. Adjust the front of the scarf accordingly. You may need to push it back or pull it forward. 

Rollover Crown

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1. Place the top part of the front of your head in the middle of the scarf

2. Bring the ends to the back of your head and use the ends of the scarf to create a two strand twist

3. Once your two strand twist is complete, twist it tight

4. Roll it on the crown of your head. 

5. Tuck in the ends. 

High Bun

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This is the reverse low bun, in essence. 
  1. Place the back of your head in the middle of the scarf. 

2. Bring the sides of the scarf to the front of your head, above your forehead. You may need to bend over and let gravity help you. 

3. Create a two twist strands

4. Keep twisting it until it begins to fold on itself

5. Tuck in the ends once your finished. 

Et Voila! 

Now you have three quick easy way to be in and out the door within five minutes without breaking a sweat. This look can be dressed up or dressed down. Remember you can’t have a bad hair day with a stylish headscarf. 

Which look is your favourite?

Easy DIY Fuschia Lip Colour

Featured / Sandy Esprit / 1 Comment

Hi there! Thank you so much for checking my blog. Your support is appreciated and I’m so glad you’re here. So many times I’m just in my bathroom experimenting with make up and I love it. I don’t always get the chance to do it because of my precious daughters’ need my attention but when I get the chance, I turn up and play with the colours I got. Just so you know, all opinions expressed are completely my own. Nobody is paying me to use their products are to talk about them. I bought it, I love it, I use it.

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#dontrushchallenge look

Why create your own lip colour?

I don’t know about you but I don’t always want to go out and buy a new lipstick simply because I need a colour that moment. In fact, I’m naturally a stingy person so I don’t like spending money. I’d rather invest creatively where my imagination can bring about something different. Turns out it’s actually easier to do than I ever thought.

The way I create a lip colour is very similar to highlighting and contouring my face. I prep my lip with a tint, I apply a base, I contour and then I highlight. I rub my lips and voila!

The Process

Below I created a video to better explain the way that I create this custom colour.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CB2zu88HYow/?igshid=1i1k8c8zz0dvc

The lipsticks used in this video are

  • Maybelline Bold Colorsational Midnight Blue 840,
  • NYX Cosmetic Butter lipstick Licorice,
  • Revlon Colorburst Matte Balm Sultry 225,
  • Colorpop Ultra Matte liquid lipstick Flurries and
  • Manna Kadar liquid lipstick Lucky.

The key is go in light and add as needed. Otherwise, it’ll end up all over your teeth.

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I hope this video was helpful. What custom make up have you been experimenting with lately?

Favourite Makeup Looks

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You spend all that time and money to find the right shade for your complexion and then what? Now it’s time to use it. Easier said than done, most days.

So I’ve put together a list of my favourite YouTube videos that feature my favourite makeup looks for various occasions.

I hope you enjoy it!

Healing Isn’t Linear, Neither Is Parenting

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When I was little, I wanted to be a parent so that I could be in charge. I wanted to call the shots and have these little humans obey me. I knew I didn’t want to be the kind of parent who used corporal punishment because of the way it made me feel. The shame that came with each discipline made me feel less than. No, that wasn’t for me.

Fast forward to now, three kids I’m healing from the effects of feeling like I will never be enough. That I always need to fit in a mold of perfection that will never exist. Healing requires research and patience. It requires training a brain that is solidified in its way of living. It’s exhausting. I’m constantly digging up the cemented mindset of my inner child and defending the past like I owe it something.

Healing isn’t linear. Throughout, my time as a parent I’m learning daily that just because I have more information doesn’t make me a better parent. My outlook constantly plays a part into the kind of person my childrend get as a mother. I have thoughts that plague me like the thorns of a rose. There are dogmas that are invisible to the naked eye that pound my head and bring me to a halt. My girls don’t get to see this. They see a woman who is confident. What they don’t see is a woman who is literally parenting herself at the same time as she is parenting her own.

Healing isn’t linear. It’s a complex derivative of various algorithms with theoretical formulas that require a tremendous effort to employ. I know better so I should do better. But the truth is I’m putting my trust in a method I haven’t seen nor experienced for myself while catching and healing the wounds of my past in hopes that my girls don’t see this grown woman tripping over the bloods from the open wounds of her past.

How I wish I could tell my younger self that she is allowed to dream. She is allowed to travel and experience different elements of what makes the world beautiful. She is allowed to go after the expensive shoes because they are investment into her joy life bucket. She is not too much and that most importantly that she is a good and kind person worthy of being loved for the being she is…but I can only tell the millenial woman staring at me in the mirror these things.

Healing isn’t linear. Some days I feel great. Today my daughter pooped in the toilet. This has been an issue for a while now. She will pee but refuses to acknowledge the toilet to poop. But today she did it. I felt like a rockstar. I didn’t get mad. I didn’t yell at her. She did it. I was a proud mama.

Some days my girls wow me. My eldest understands and knows basic grade 1 arithmetic and she just turned 5. She can read and spell most words. She’s currently learning to skateboard and has inspired me to do the same.

Healing isn’t linear. My 8 month old has learned to stand on her own. She’s been practicing her pincer muscle and can now hold, grab and eat her own puffs. She does

My fear

/ Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

I wanted to see myself in the media but she wasn’t there. And because I wanted to be seen I tried to blend in. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the clothes, the height, the hair, accent to blend in so that was a bust. I guess it was convenient that we moved so much because only then could I escape from one reality to the next. I spent a long time being angry. When my home life finally stabilized I became resentful. They had a life that I was trying to infiltrate and I was too insecure to give them the benefit of the doubt. So I tried so hard to become the perfect Christian girl. I didn’t date, I didn’t hang out with anybody outside my church youth group and as much as I tried to fit in my skirts never seemed to be “long” enough. The more praise I received, the more the criticism piled on. To be honest, I don’t remember much of the praise but I definitely remember the time I was yelled at for “not prioritizing the house of God”. My sin was asking to be excused from choir practice to help out a friend who needed a babysitter so she could work. Home was a constant reminder of my shortcomings as a daughter. If supper was burnt I heard it. If the dishes weren’t washed I heard it. Now I’m a grown woman who’s achieving all of these goals and yet I still fall short of accepting myself fully and completely for the person I am. How am I going to teach my daughters that they are perfectly enough, if I don’t believe it for myself?

Sephora Bought Reds

/ Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

When it comes to red lipstick, I try my best to get them all. Not all reds are the same and there are some that I’ll steer clear of.

For example, any lipstick with extremely drying formula is a no go for me. The fall/winter weather is harsh on my skin, I don’t need to add to its demise. That’s why I’m careful to wear lipstick that don’t dry my lips out too much.

I don’t discriminate between matte and gloss colour. It all depends on my mood. Some days I wear matte and some days I don’t.

I’m all about quality. The quality of the lipstick will either give me a boost of confidence or make me feel self conscious.

My breastfeeding journey continues

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Hey there! I’m back. I’m hoping that I will be able to continue updating you on my motherhood journey. In honour of Black Breastfeeding Week I’ve decided to share my breastfeeding journey with you.

For those of you who don’t know I gave birth to my third born daughter two weeks ago. It’s been a journey but we are all doing well. I’m learning (again) to be flexible with myself and my family but it’s not easy. I like things a certain way and at times it just feels like everything is falling on me. All because if I don’t do it, it most likely will not get done in a time efficient manner that could’ve been invested in other projects and tasks that would greatly help me be a better mother and wife but alas here we are…transitioning.

One thing I am grateful that doesn’t need much transitioning however is breastfeeding. I am grateful that my daughter was able to latch within an hour of her birth. We got to do skin to skin and she was amazing. I’ve been feeding her on demand, which is whenever she wants to as opposed to every two hours like I did with my first born. That method almost drove me insane and borderline into postpartum depression.

Now I completely understand that most infants need to be reminded to wake up and drink that milk, especially when breastfeeding because they need to gain weight for starters. There’s tons of nutrients in that colostrum that they may not get again which is helpful to their survival. It also helps us mothers to get that milk production going. Of course, engorgement will follow and that’s annoying but it benefits us all. However, sometimes baby knows best. As long as you’re trying and doing your best, Mama you’re doing amazing.

All of my girls have been amazing feeders when it comes to the breast and absolutely hated formula or the bottle regardless of whether or not there was breastmilk in the bottle. I remember my first born and I going at it because I genuinely allowed those around me guilt me into believing that my daughter needed to be bottle fed. Also when you’re told that your babies are a problem because they refuse to drink from the bottle, it can trigger some guilt and shame as a mother. But now that I’ve got my third I’m grateful that I can have that bonding moment and appreciate it for what it is.

It is a bit harder this time around because I still have a four year old and a soon to be two year old who still want my attention. There are times when I can’t get to the baby right away. Sometimes I have to put a pause on the dinner preparation to feed the baby. Most of the time, I’m breastfeeding and acting as a referee between the older two. These ideas of being able to sit in a rocking chair having that bonding moment like I did with my firstborn are not happening. These are kinds of expectations I have to let go. For example, having peace and quiet while breastfeeding is not happening anymore. In fact it’s the opposite.

What has proven to be helpful when I breastfeeding is making sure that I have a bib around on the baby. It’s easy to clean up spit ups and regurgitation from the baby. Sometimes the occasional milk let down, especially during the engorgement period. A good nipple cream helped me so much when I nursed my first born. My nipples would crack and it would hurt so much. Speaking to a lactation consultant was crucial for me. It also gave me the confidence to keep trying again. Another important one is having a friend who’s done it before. They sometimes have the most invaluable advices. But most importantly, knowing that you’re not a failure for doing your best. At the end of the day fed is best. If breastfeeding isn’t for you and your little one that’s ok. Just do what’s best for the both of you.

I hope this has been useful and helpful. Below are a list of things I personally loved using while breastfeeding.

https://www.shopltk.com/explore/sandyesprit/posts/f87cdea7-0604-11ec-83a6-0242ac110003

Summer Skin Care Routine

/ Sandy Esprit / Leave a comment

Hey there! Thanks for checking out blog. I know that the stores have already started putting out the back to school and some may have already gotten ready for Fall, but summer is very much still happening. So I’m going to be showing my current skin care routine.

Since I’m pregnant there are certain items I’ve had to stay away from. Mainly, retinol. And I do love retinol. So I’ve really focused but my skin has adapted well. Check it out here.

How’s your summer skin care routine going?