Hey. Thanks for checking out my blog. I hope this inspires you and brings a smile on your face. Most importantly, I hope your faith is renewed.
I decided to write a blog dedicated to the years of 2010-2019. This decade is almost over and I forget, often, of what I’ve gone through and the challenges I’ve overcome. I wish I could say it was all me, but it would be false. All glory belongs to God.
I’ve had to research my own past and to my surprise one thing remained constant. God was, God is and will continue to be faithful. Let the church say Amen.
I will begin with 2010.
OMG! I was so skinny! But that’s not the focus of this post. I was insecure. I spoke a lot and said more than I probably should’ve but I did the best I could.
That year I was attending the University of Ottawa, after dealing with the crushing blows of academic failure I was reinstated back into my program. I was trying so hard to be someone I wasn’t then,
I remember being more involved in my church trying to impress a guy. Looking back, I just want to laugh my head off. I thank the good Lord Almighty, He closed that down, despite my stupidity.
2011: I clearly was going through something, don’t focus on my ignorance of fashion.
This woman on my right is a dear friend of mine. I thank God for this woman, Nakita Bell. She was there for me and was never afraid to keep it real with me.
We travelled together(often) and shared so many good times. She helped put my faith back on track by just being herself. If you ever encounter her she just makes your day brighter with her presence.
That year was tough for us. We struggled and found our way back. I had some growing up to do. I had some soul searching to do, but in his own way, he was patient with me.
It wasn’t easy but this year was when our relationship really took flight. This wouldn’t have happened without him.
In 2013, I finally had the courage to pursue my dream. I decided to invest in myself for the first time in my life.
I made a few recordings and had the best time of my life. I grew as a vocalist. I even released a professional recording of a Christmas cover.
I thank God for the boldness to put my money where my faith is. I took a leap of faith and it’s paying off, still today.
2014:
I thank God for my engagement. It was something that I had been looking forward to. I wanted the commitment so badly.
I was so excited. Of course, the proposal was nothing like I imagined it would be. I didn’t care. I had prayed to God for that moment and it finally arrived.
We got married in 2015. I thank God for that day, in spite of the ups and downs.
That day was so traumatic to me, I literally thought that it was an omen. Yet, we moved into a beautiful 3 bedroom house in a neighborhood that we had no business being in.
We practically had our wedding at a cost that is unfathomable, because we spent so little.
Most importantly, I gained a family that redefined my definition of family. For that I am forever grateful.
I thank God for 2016. If I were to summarize that year it would be the one that almost killed me.
My picture was posted on Tyra Banks instagram. I was married and living in a nice house. Little did people know I was miserable. I was depressed. I was leading in worship and miserable.
I sought validation anywhere I could. My expectations weren’t being met and I couldn’t fix it.
Better yet, I was suffering with depression and I couldn’t fix me. I remember the day I spoke up at church and for the first time I understood and felt the love of God the way it’s meant to be felt. Without shame or judgement. I finally understood what genuine love meant.
In 2017 I gave birth to my firstborn daughter. I thank God so much for her. As soon as she was born, I saw my own reflection. I understood my assignment and purpose the moment I looked into her eyes. I whispered the words, “I got you.” That was my promise to her from that day on.
Nothing else mattered. My insecurities were quieted in that moment. I knew God had given me all the knowledge and resources necessary to ensure our safe keeping. We were going to be ok.
We also had a three day celebration following the birth at my house so that was awesome.
She’s my constant that this life isn’t just about getting things done but enjoying every moment and celebrating every milestone no matter how small.
In 2018 I had fun. I had a great year. I wrote and recorded many songs for different projects. My voice reached the ears of music execs and I didn’t think that it would ever happen.
I thank God for 2018. The whole was just an eye opener. Every time things got rough, I had the resources and the boldness to try something new.
It wasn’t a perfect year but it was such a great year. I had my family and wherever we were, it was always my home, my safe haven.
I thank God for 2019, because He gave me my second daughter. I’m blessed. My family grew as my great need for sleep but my heart is full.
Sandy Esprit 
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