I’m doing it again…

I’m doing it again. I’m scrolling through social media mindlessly. I’m doing it with the intent of cheering on those around me. They are doing so well. Opening doors and establishing themselves in the rooms I’ve dreamt of entering for myself. But I can’t help it…

I’ve got a family that I never expected to have for myself. I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything else and that’s why I’m fighting so hard to keep them. I’ve got healthy and happy children. But when my maternity leave is up, I don’t want to work like everyone else. I’m passionate about my dreams but now more than ever I’m lost as to how to go about it.

So I’m doing it again. I’ve let myself go into a state of comparison. A state where all I see is masked by envy instead of celebration.

My time is now. It’s not coming it’s now. I can walk or stay. I can move or stay. I’m grabbing today by the horns.

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